*Edward*
I stared out of the doorway of my office, tapping my pen against my blotter and mentally willing Bella to walk past.
It was nearing the end of the workday, I'd barely seen her much at all throughout the day and we'd never made any plans for tonight. It was insane the way the small bit of anxiety was crawling up my spine at the thought of losing this routine we'd gotten ourselves involved in. She could've changed her mind after hanging out with me on Saturday – maybe she didn't want to be friends with me after all.
I rolled my eyes at myself, dropping my pen and reaching up to run my hands through my hair. We were not in middle school and this was not a life or death situation. It would suck if she'd changed her mind, but it wouldn't be the end of my world. Life would go on and I'd survive without Bella Swan in mine if that's what she truly wanted.
I wouldn't fucking like it, but I'd deal with it.
Spending all day with her on Saturday was a much-needed relief. We'd seen a movie, we'd made fun of the horrid actors and their stiff emotions, we'd gotten into a popcorn fight and then we'd gone out to get some dinner, taking our sweet time and annoying the entire staff when we stayed long after closing.
I would've done it again in a heartbeat. I'd needed a day like that; something to keep my mind off of everything that had initially brought me here and just able to enjoy myself with someone who had broken down the walls long enough for me to see that she was probably one of the best people I'd ever known.
I didn't understand how anyone had been able to walk away from that. There was something almost innocent and pure about her when she wasn't so guarded and on edge. And to be perfectly fucking honest, I found myself completely in love with the sound of her laugh or how her eyes would crinkle when she grinned at me.
I wanted to bash my head into the nearest wall of cement, but it was the truth. And as her friend, I should want to make her laugh and grin at me as often as possible.
Right? That's completely something that friends would do, isn't it?
Get a fucking grip, Masen.
I nearly fell out of my chair when I felt something hit the top of my head and looked up to see Bella's grinning face in the corner of my doorway.
Maybe that mental willing thing worked…
"What are you…?"
She pointed at my desk and I looked down, confused until I saw the crumpled ball of paper sitting on my blotter.
"What is…?"
I looked up to see that she'd disappeared and huffed, shaking my head and rolling my eyes in a sad attempt to mask the smirk breaking its way onto my face as I grabbed it. I unfolded it and smoothed it down, still shaking my head as I recognized what passed as her handwriting scrawled across the empty appointment book page.
Wanna go to Jared's tonight? Bring your work with you. I'll keep myself occupied.
She'd circled the five-thirty slot and had put a massive amount of arrows pointing to it. I shook my head and laughed, flipping the page over and taking up the entire space as I scrawled out a yes before crumpling it up and walking to the doorway. I pressed myself against the wall next to it, watching carefully down the hallway that I assumed she'd disappeared down with the paper aimed and ready. I clamped my tongue in between my teeth when I heard a door open, bending my knees a little as I waited.
"What are you doing?"
I jumped and barely held back an extremely girly screech when Bella popped up around the wrong corner, grinning like a mad woman and rocking back and forth on her heels. I glared at her and turned, hanging out of the doorway and throwing the paper at her. She laughed, easily catching it and holding it behind her back.
"Aren't you at least going to read it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
She shrugged, still rocking back and forth on her heels as she continued to grin at me.
"What is wrong with you?" I laughed.
"You don't wanna know," she laughed lightly, her grin faltering a little as she stopped rocking and brought the ball of paper up in front of her. "I'm going to assume this is a positive answer."
"What are you, psychic?"
She smirked and shrugged one shoulder, throwing the paper back at me and grinning once again as I let it hit me in the forehead.
"Sometimes."
"I'll meet you in the office?" I asked, bending down to pick up the paper, throwing it back and forth between my hands.
"I'll be there."
I smiled and nodded, snatching the ball in mid-air. She nodded once and turned on her heel, walking back towards the front office and I tried really hard not to look at her ass.
It didn't work.
She disappeared through the door and I sighed, shaking my head at myself as I stepped back into my office and closed the door behind me.
Friends. Friends, friends, friends. Friends did not stare at other friends' asses. Friends did not think other friends were fucking gorgeous. Friends had dinner and talked over coffee.
I didn't want anything more than friendship with Bella. We were making progress; it was slow and I still didn’t fully understand much of anything about her, but we were getting there. I'd started to trust her against my better judgment and there was no going back now.
I walked over to my desk, pulling open one of the side drawers and chucking the paper ball into it before snapping it shut and sitting down in my chair, huffing slightly.
We could do this.
~*~
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
I looked up from the chart I was scribbling in to find Bella staring out the window we were seated next to, her hands covering the top of the bright orange coffee mug. Her book was spread open next to her, completely forgotten at this point.
True to her note, she'd brought a book with her and had spent most of our dinner reading it while I hurried to finish the work she'd forced me to bring. I wanted to talk; I wanted to see how the rest of her weekend went and make plans for tomorrow night. She insisted that I get some work done if we were leaving the office and had promised that she wouldn't distract me so that I could finish before the diner closed for the night.
"Uhm, I don't know," I shrugged, watching as she began chewing on her bottom lip.
"You're not going to see your parents, are you?"
"No." I shook my head and scoffed a little, raising one hand and running it through my hair. "Why?"
"You're going to spend Christmas alone?"
I shrugged, dropping my hand and grabbing a leftover fry from her plate, quickly shoving it in my mouth before she could hit me and scowl at me like she'd done before. I didn't get fries, damn it; I'd gotten coleslaw and no matter how they'd tried to fancy it up, it didn't work.
But she didn't. She just continued to stare out the window, the fingers of one hand slowly tapping against the mug beneath it while her top row of teeth raked over her bottom lip.
She'd been pretty quiet the entire afternoon and I hadn't seen her much during work except for our note exchange and a few things she needed to tell me about incoming patients, but I hadn't thought much of it. I was getting work done in between eating and she was reading as I did so. It was what we'd agreed to and I hadn't given it a second thought.
As she sat across from me with a line in the middle of her forehead and half the skin missing from her bottom lip, though, it finally kicked in that maybe something was wrong.
I tapped my pen against the file in front of me as I chewed slowly, watching her profile in the fading sunlight and kind of hating myself for the way I wanted to bolt out of this diner, ignoring whatever was wrong with her until it all blew over.
Friends didn't do that shit. Friends listened no matter how much they didn't want to.
"Why?"
"Isn't that depressing?"
She looked over at me and our eyes locked briefly before she looked down at the table.
"I don't know. It's the first Christmas that I'll be alone. I'll let you know when the day's over with."
She turned and I watched as she dug through her purse, mumbling something incoherent to herself before she finally pulled out her cell phone and slid it across the table to me.
"Give me your number."
Her voice shook when she said it and I watched as she chewed on her bottom lip again, her fingertips tapping against the tabletop nervously as her eyes darted between my chin and her cell phone.
"Is everything all right, Bella?" I asked slowly, setting the pen down and carefully picking up her phone.
"Uhm…" She shrugged and laughed nervously, licking her lips. "Can I…? I need another opinion."
"Okay, sure," I said easily, leaning back in my seat and pulling up her contact list.
"That day last week at the coffee house… when I freaked out?"
I smirked humorlessly and nodded, typing in Dr. Edward just for the hell of it.
"Well, I called Jake when I got in the car."
My eyes narrowed at the smaller screen in my hands. There wasn't much about this Jake character that I liked so far, and from the way this story seemed to be starting, I was sure I wouldn't like him even more.
"Okay," I said slowly as I typed in both my house and cell phone numbers.
"His girlfriend was there with him and I just wanted someone to talk to," she laughed nervously. "She said that I'd only piss him off like I usually do so I hung up on him."
I looked up at her once I'd finished entering my information and set her phone down on the table, sliding it back to her. I leaned forward and rested my arms on the edge of the table, watching as she nervously started tapping her fingertips against the table. She'd already told me some version of this on Saturday, but I wasn't about to interrupt her and tell her that.
She was finally talking to me about something else; something that was bothering her and something that she'd asked for my help with. I wasn't going to be the dumb ass that made her rethink anything.
"I didn't pick up the phone when he called back and hadn't heard from him since." She took a deep breath and licked her lips, looking down at her almost empty plate of food. "On Sundays, my mom has this family dinner; it's been that way since me and Emmett moved out. When I showed up yesterday, he was there waiting for me."
She pushed her hair behind her hear and licked her lips again, huffing slightly before releasing her hair from behind her ear so that it fell in her face once more.
"He confirmed what she said and I told him that I wouldn't bother him anymore. He said he didn't want that but…" She looked up at me, biting her bottom lip. "I don't know what to do. He's been my best friend for four years and I just… I don't know."
"He's not worth your time, Bella," I said quietly, shaking my head. "It took him that long to come to you in the first place. He's not a friend; you deserve better."
"I don't know what to do without him. I feel like a part of me is just… gone."
I nodded, moving one hand and placing it palm up in between us on the table.
I knew how it felt to be missing a huge chunk of your heart and I wished that Bella didn't need to feel that way. It fucking sucked and of all the people in the world, Bella wasn't someone that should ever have to feel something like that.
She looked down at my hand and I watched her eyes widen. I swallowed hard and kept it there, mentally begging her to just… accept it. Even a brush of her fingertips would be welcome at this point – something, anything.
"We'll figure it out together, Bella," I said softly. "You're my friend and I'll help you figure it out."
"I'm not… you don't know…"
"So tell me."
Her eyes lurched back to mine, her lips slightly parted as her breathing picked up.
"You don't know what you're asking," she breathed.
"So tell me," I said again, keeping my eyes locked on hers and praying that she didn't look away.
"It hurts," she whispered.
"It's going to."
"I don't know if…"
"Trust me," I whispered back, sliding my hand closer to her.
"I barely know you."
I watched from the corner of my eye as she lifted one hand and rested her elbow on the table, pressing her lips together as she tapped each fingertip against her palm. Her tattoo poked out of her long-sleeve shirt as she did so and I fought the urge to ask her about it right this second.
"We're working on that, right?"
She bit her bottom lip and nodded slowly, her fingertips still tapping against her palm as she held eye contact with me.
"I'll try not to push and well, you're the only one I talk to outside of work so there's no threat of me running off with some other friends and not including you." I smiled when she snorted and finally stopped chewing off her bottom lip. "If you need me, you have my numbers."
"You're making a mistake with me."
"I don't think so."
"You can't know that for sure."
"You can't either."
"Edward, I'm not someone that you need in your life, okay? I'm not…"
"Bella, we've been over this. It's my decision who I want to spend my time with and I choose to spend my time with you. Please," I whispered again, raising my hand and placing it in front of her upraised one, "trust me."
"What if you start dating someone?"
"That won't happen."
"You can't know that."
"Yes, I can. I don't want to date anyone anymore, Bella. I'm done with all of that."
She tilted her head at me and I clenched my teeth together, swallowing hard.
I hadn't meant to say that. I didn't want to say that. That hadn't been a part of whatever plan that may have taken root in my brain a few minutes ago when we started this conversation.
"You've gotta trust me, too," she said quietly. "It's not a one way street."
I nodded stiffly, sucking in a deep breath.
"We're working on it."
She nodded and I watched out of the corner of my eye as she slowly placed her palm – flat and tense – against mine. The electrical current was immediate, shooting through my arm, up to my shoulders and into my neck. I took another deep breath before relaxing my fingers against her wrist, slowly running my middle finger up and down the underside. Her fingers slowly relaxed against my wrist and the additional sparks I felt when I had more contact with her had me feeling like every single nerve was alive and fighting.
I wasn't a hundred percent sure on what they were fighting for, but there was some definite activity there.
"Do you…?" I cleared my throat when my voice came out as more of a high-pitched squeak than anything. "Do you want to go get a drink?"
"Are you asking me out?"
"No."
"Yeah."
I squeezed my fingers around her wrist before she could pull away, causing her to stop her almost movement and keep her eyes centered on mine.
"I'm trying."
"I know."
"Say that you're going to try too. Please."
She nodded slowly and I was almost jolted out of my seat when she trailed her fingertips back and forth across my wrist.
"I'm going to try. I just don't want you to be disappointed when I fuck things up."
"You need to have some faith, Bella."
"You've got trust, Edward. Give me some time on the faith."
I nodded once and finally let go of her wrist, disappointed when the current died out and my nerve endings went back to merely… surviving. I quickly put the folders away and stuffed them into my briefcase, shrugging my coat on and standing up. I waited for her to get herself put back together, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she stood up.
"Gotta pay the bill," I mumbled, snatching the forgotten check from the corner of the table.
"I'll get it."
"Buy me a drink," I said easily, waving her off as I walked up to the counter and set my briefcase down by my feet.
"Are you driving?" she asked, coming up behind me as I fought to get my wallet out of my back pocket.
"If you want me to."
I triumphantly held up my wallet and quickly dug my debit card out, holding it between my teeth as I shoved my wallet back into my back pocket.
"As long as you don't mind."
I smirked over at her, pulling my debit card from my teeth and tapping it against the counter as we waited for either Embry or Quil to appear.
"I never offer if I mind."
She nodded, clasping one hand around her purse strap and licking her lips.
"Thank you."
I gently nudged her with my elbow and smiled softly at her, nodding.
"Thank you."
She smiled tentatively up at me, nodding once before Quil appeared behind the counter and snatched the check from my hands, humming to himself and bouncing along to the tune.
"Leaving so soon?" he asked cheerfully as he punched whatever it was that needed to be entered into the register.
"Yeah," I said lamely, handing him my card.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Yes," Bella said confidently, nodding at him. "We'll be here."
I smirked over at her and she stuck her tongue out at me, her hands twisting around her purse strap.
"Well, enjoy your night then, guys," Quil said, smiling brightly as he handed me my card and receipt.
"Thanks. We will," I said, smiling back at him before turning to Bella and motioning her to go first.
I stuffed everything into my coat pocket and snatched the handle of my briefcase, watching as she shook her head at me and smirked.
"Bye Quil!" she called out as she turned on her heel, waving over her head at him.
I followed her out and we quickly made it across the street.
"Are you sure you don't mind driving me?"
"Bella," I sighed dramatically, looking over at her as I dug my keys out of my coat pocket.
"I'm just making sure!"
She held her hands up in defense and smirked over at me.
"I don't mind. You have to tell me where to go, though."
"Naturally," she shrugged, stopping at the passenger side door and pulling on the handle.
She looked up at me and pursed her lips when it didn't open, looking pointedly back at the door handle. I tilted my head slightly at her, watching as she pulled on the handle one more time before huffing and looking back at me.
Fuck if she wasn't cute when she did that.
I sucked in a deep breath and walked over to her, gently brushing her hand from the handle as I unlocked the door. She raised an eyebrow at me and stepped back as I opened the door for her, clearly confused.
She stared at me for a few moments before ducking her head slightly, mumbling a thank you and sliding into the seat. I closed the door when she was safely in and avoided her gaze as I rounded the car, nervously jiggling my keys in my hand.
I'd never opened a car door for any of the women in my life before. Why in the hell had I done it for her?
~*~
"Do you know," Bella slurred, pointing at me as she leaned against the bar, "how long it's been since I've gotten laid?"
I threw my head back and laughed, blindly reaching for my tumbler of Captain and Coke.
"Two thousand and five!" she screeched, grabbing what was left of her Long Island Iced Tea and downing it. "Three fucking years, Edward!"
I don't know how we got started on this conversation. I do know that Bella had had about four of those big ass glasses of straight alcohol and her inhibitions appeared to be at an all time low.
It had been slightly awkward when I climbed into the car after the door-opening incident and no matter what either of us had tried coming up with to smooth it over, not much was working. It was weird and I shouldn't have done it. But I did do it and she probably thought I was an ass.
We'd sat in an awkward silence for the first fifteen minutes after we'd arrived at the bar before spotting an older woman – who didn't have any teeth in her head – making eyes at me from across the room. That had been all it took to get us talking again, it seemed, and the more Bella drank, the more she talked.
The woman talked a fucking lot. Especially when she was on her way to being completely hammered. She was amusing and I found that my cheeks had started hurting about half an hour ago from all the laughing I'd been doing around her. Not only did she talk a lot, but she was also fucking hilarious.
It was good to laugh. It was nice and easy and Christ, it felt like I hadn't laughed for the past twenty-six years of my life.
"Well, was it worth it?" I asked, tipping my head back up and swirling my drink around in the glass.
"No!" she screeched again, throwing her free hand in air before slamming her empty glass on the bar and huffing at me. "Two minutes, Edward. I didn't even… I hadn't even started and he was just done!"
I laughed again, shaking my head and placing my free hand on the edge of the bar.
"Is that even fucking possible? I mean… he had a kid, Edward. He obviously wasn't a virgin so what the fuck happened there?"
I leaned forward, my shoulders shaking as I rested my forehead on the bar and tried my best to keep breathing through the laughter.
"Seriously!" she shrieked, slapping my shoulder and pushing me slightly. "And it was on the floor of my apartment in college. Let me tell you," she slurred, poking my shoulder, "it was not fucking comfortable. Literally. Fucking. Uncomfortable fucking!"
"You're going to kill me," I wheezed, sitting up straight and looking over at her.
"I'm serious!"
"So am I!" I laughed, shaking my head at her and reaching up to rub my eyes.
"Maybe he wasn't into me. Oh!" she exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder and digging her fingernails in as she stared by me. "That would explain so much."
"I doubt that was the reason," I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head. "Obviously, if you got to the point of uncomfortable fucking, he was interested."
"Maybe he just wanted to get laid." She looked back at me and narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips. "When was your last time?"
"You're seriously asking me that."
She smiled brightly and nodded, shaking my shoulder and causing me to rock from side to side on the stool.
"Come on! I've shared, damn it! Tell me?" She batted her eyes at me and tilted her head to the side, still smiling brightly. "Come on, Edward, please? Was it good? Was she hot? Oh, I bet she was hot. You're hot. She'd be hot, too."
I snorted at her and shook my head, licking my lips.
"You really want to know?"
She nodded, wiggling in her seat and placing both hands in her lap. I sighed and turned to face her, running my hands through my hair before leaning against the bar and looking directly into her eyes.
She'd gotten a shit ton better with that the more she drank.
"It was up against my bedroom door at my apartment with my fiancée five months ago."
She slowly tilted her head to the side and I watched as her eyebrows pulled together.
"You're engaged?"
"Not anymore."
She tilted her head to the other side and licked her lips before pursing them.
"Happened?"
Whether it was the minimal amount of alcohol or the way she was looking at me with one of the most innocent expressions on her face – telling me that it was okay, that everything was fine with her – I wasn't sure. Either way, I found my mouth moving and the words spilling out before I could really give it too much more thought.
"I found her fucking my best friend the next night in our bed."
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open as her head fell forward, her hair falling over her shoulders.
"Seriously?"
I nodded once, licking my bottom lip and signaling the bartender for one more round for the both of us.
"Seriously."
She faced forward, her lips pursed once again as she rested her elbows on the bar and her chin in her hand, staring at the wall of liquor in front of her. I watched her, her tattoo catching my eye once again as she compulsively licked her lips. Well… what the hell. We were apparently on some kind of honesty kick at the moment; what better time to ask?
"Bella, what's…?" I started.
I was cut off when she slid off her stool, nudged herself between my legs and clumsily wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her chest firmly against mine and burying her nose in my shoulder. My eyes widened and I blinked slowly at the guy sitting down at the other end of the bar, my arms held up at her sides as I tried to think straight through the suddenly muddled thoughts in my head.
"Uhm…"
"She was a stupid whore," she mumbled, tilting her head slightly so that her mouth was right by my ear.
I closed my eyes tightly and fisted my hands, swallowing hard. Christ, she couldn't just do this shit to me.
"You didn't deserve that and if she could pass you up for second best, then she was a dumb fucking whore."
"Bella," I laughed nervously.
"I mean it, Edward." Her arms tightened around my neck and she rested her head on my chest, yawning. "Anyone would be lucky to be engaged to you. She didn't know what she had."
I exhaled loudly and opened my eyes to see that the guy I'd been blinking at before was blatantly staring at Bella's ass and licking his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him and wrapped my arms tightly around Bella's waist, quickly figuring out how dumb of a move that was as she shifted and pressed herself tighter against me. I swallowed hard and slowly leaned down to rest my forehead on her shoulder, the scent of her shampoo immediately invading my nose as I breathed in. One of her hands moved from my neck and she placed it on the back of my head, gently scratching my scalp.
Fuck, this felt good. She felt good and damn it all to hell because I didn't want to fucking move. If she wanted to stay like this with me for the next couple of weeks or so, I'd be completely content with that.
"I don't know much about you, Edward," she mumbled, tilting her head so that her mouth was by my ear once again, "but I know that you didn't deserve that from her. She's a dirty ho."
I laughed weakly and nodded my head, reluctantly loosening my hold on her as she started to pull away. I almost fell off the damn stool when I felt her lips at the corner of my mouth, soft and feather-light before she backed away completely and grinned at me. The shocks that flowed through me nearly had me off the stool yet again and I gripped tightly onto the edge of the bar, gaping at her.
"Your hair is very soft," she stated, pointing at me before she hopped back onto her stool.
"Thank you," I managed, looking up as the bartender set our drinks down in front of us.
"You're welcome," she chirped, grabbing her glass and holding it up. "To friendship."
I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, tapping my glass against hers.
"To friendship. And I'm driving your ass home."
She laughed and waved me off, nodding as she sipped from her glass.
"How will I get to work tomorrow?"
"Assuming that you can get out of bed?" I laughed as she shrugged and nodded again. "I'll pick you up."
"Are you okay to drive?"
She leaned forward and squinted her eyes at me, pursing her lips.
"This is only my third, Bella. I'm fine."
She nodded and leaned back, sipping from the glass. I shook my head at her, laughing as I waved the bartender over and asked for our tab.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She grinned at me before tilting her head back and all but emptying her glass. I laughed at her as she slammed it back on the bar and shivered in her seat, placing her hands in her lap and popping her lips.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You just did," she giggled.
She grabbed her glass once more, finishing off the small amount that was left and pushing it away from her.
I rolled my eyes and laughed again, pointing to her wrist as I once again handed over my debit card. I rested my elbow on the bar as the bartender disappeared and leaned my head against my wrist.
"Your tattoo."
"You know," she started, pointing at me. "You never actually ask the question. You just state things and expect me to have the right answers."
"Okay," I laughed, shaking my head. "What's your tattoo of?"
"That's better. I will show you, but I won't tell you," she slurred, yanking up her shirtsleeve.
She shoved her arm in my face and I saw the tiny letters – 'MN' – in black with a small rose bud at the end, the stem wrapped around the bottom of them.
"What…?"
"Nope!" she exclaimed, dropping her arm on the bar and shaking her head.
Well, at least I knew what it was now. I may not know what it stood for or what it meant to her, but at least I knew what it was.
"All right…"
"I'm tired," she declared.
I smiled softly at her and signed the paper the bartender brought over to me, pushing away from the bar and standing up to shove my card and wallet in my back pocket. She tilted her head at me, stifling a yawn.
"You didn't finish your drink."
I shrugged and reached over to gently wrap my fingers around her wrist, tugging slightly.
"It's time to go, Bella."
"But you just…"
"Come on," I laughed, pulling a little harder on her wrist until she finally slid off the stool, lazily grabbed her purse from its resting place on the bar and stumbled over to me.
She fell against my side, one of her arms winding around my waist as she worked herself under my arm and shoved her purse on her shoulder. I licked my lips and shook my head, sighing quietly as I draped my arm over her shoulders and led her towards the front door. I found our coats in the mess they called a coat rack and helped Bella into hers before sliding mine over my shoulders.
"You gotta stay awake to give me directions to your place, Bella," I said as we walked outside.
"I'm awake," she mumbled, leaning heavily against me and nuzzling her cheek into my chest.
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
"All right."
We reached my car and I grabbed my keys from my pocket, unlocking the doors and opening hers. She fell into the seat and grinned sleepily at me, resting her head back and stretching her arms out in front of her.
"I needed this," she slurred, dropping her hands into her lap. "Thank you for taking me."
I smiled and nodded, bending down and strapping the seat belt across her lap before standing back up.
"You're welcome, Bella."
I closed the door and rounded the front, shaking my head and laughing at her before I got in the car and looked over at her. She smiled lazily at me, raising her hand and pointing out the window.
"Onward, Edward! Hey." She sat up straight and grinned at me. "That worked. That rhymed! Oh, that's fun."
I laughed and shook my head at her, sticking the key in the ignition and starting the car.
"Tell me how to get to your place, drunkard."
She giggled and yelled out which direction I needed to turn in before she lunged for the radio and turned it up on full blast. The entire ride to her apartment complex was spent screaming at each other over the radio as she tried to find other words that rhymed with my name in between her directions.
I finally pulled up to her unit and looked over at her.
"Do you need my help?" I laughed as she just grinned at me.
"Probably," she nodded seriously before bursting out into giggles and fumbling with the seat belt. "Have you ever wondered how these things actually work?"
I laughed at her and easily shoved her hands out of the way, pressing down on the latch and catching it before it could snap back and hit her in the face. While she probably wouldn't be able to feel it right now, she'd sure as hell feel it tomorrow morning when she woke up.
"Thanks!" she squealed, grabbing it from me and slowly letting it retract.
"Welcome." I shook my head at her and turned off the car, grabbing my keys as I pushed open my door and rounded it once more to her side. I opened her door and grabbed her hand, trying my best to ignore the shocks that quickly made their way up my arm as I helped her stand up. "Will you give me your number so that I can call you tomorrow morning?"
She slumped against me once she was completely out of the car, slinging her purse on her shoulder and wrapping both of her arms around my waist as I closed the door.
"I will write it down for you when we get inside."
"Okay. Where are your keys, Bella?"
She let her purse slide down her arm and then handed it to me before quickly wrapping it back around my waist and humming. I shook my head and laughed softly, walking up the path to the apartment unit she'd pointed out as we'd pulled in. I stepped us up onto the small concrete ledge that led to her door and made sure she was still on her own two feet before I unzipped her purse and plunged my hand inside, closing my eyes as I dug around.
The last thing I wanted to find was a tampon or something.
I finally found her keys, opened my eyes and pulled them out triumphantly, absently draping one arm around her shoulders as I stuck the key in the lock and pushed the door open. She stumbled in ahead of me, flicking on lights as she went and I stood awkwardly in the doorway with her purse and keys in my hands.
"Come in!" she demanded from the depths of the apartment.
I cleared my throat and stuck her keys back into her purse before taking the step into her apartment and closing the door behind me. I set her purse on the back of the couch and stood in the entryway, slowly looking around what appeared to be the living room. Her furniture was cream colored and there were framed photographs hanging on the walls. I couldn't tell what they were from where I was standing and I felt a little awkward merely being in her place; exploring her artwork probably wouldn't make me feel any better.
I looked to my left as I heard her footsteps and she appeared, holding out a square piece of blue paper with a lopsided smirk on her face.
"Numbers," she stated, gently slapping it against my chest and snorting when it stuck to my shirt.
I laughed and plucked it off, playing with the adhesive on the back as I nodded at her.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning."
She nodded once, tilting her head at me again.
"Thank you."
"No need to thank me."
"Whatever." She waved me off before stepping up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck again. "Just say that I'm welcome."
I laughed nervously and swallowed hard, loosely wrapping my arms around her waist.
"You're welcome."
"That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"You have no idea."
"Ass."
"Mhmm," I mumbled, laughing. "See you tomorrow morning."
I stood up straight and let my arms fall to my sides as she trailed her hands from my neck and down my chest before dropping them to her sides. I clenched my teeth together and nodded awkwardly at her before I turned and grabbed the doorknob, stuffing the Post-It with her numbers into my other pocket.
"Hey Edward?"
"Yeah?"
I turned around and she pressed herself against me, her lips firmly against mine before I could do anything else.
"Uh," I managed.
Which was a really dumb idea because then she had my bottom lip in between hers, her tongue running slowly along it. I closed my eyes tightly and fisted my hands at my sides, mentally demanding myself to push her away. This wasn't what she wanted; this wasn't what I wanted. She was drunk and she didn't really want this; I know she didn't want this. Just because there were those fucking sparks setting off every single God damned nerve ending my body possessed didn't mean anything. Just because I'd never felt this way when someone merely kissed me before didn't mean that it was right. And just because my fingers were twitching with anticipation of touching any part of her once again didn't mean that either of us really wanted this.
She moved her lips from my bottom one, moving on to my top lip and placing her hands on my waist, curling her fingers into my jacket and yanking on it.
"Bella," I mumbled, placing my hands on her shoulders with every intention of pushing her away.
But then she worked her tongue into my mouth, running it along the underside of my top lip and I forgot why this was wrong. I trailed my hands down her arms, grabbed her elbows and pulled her even tighter against me as I kissed her back. The unexplainable electricity I felt whenever we made contact only intensified as our tongues met and tangled together. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest and I pressed my lips more forcefully against hers, wrapping my arms completely around her waist and digging my hands into the jacket she still wore.
This wouldn't make anything better between us. We'd just started to talk and she'd just started to open up to me; doing this, kissing her and acting this way, would get us right back to square one. I didn't want that. That was the last thing that I ever wanted and I never wanted to look into Bella's eyes to see that heartbroken look in them. I never wanted to be the cause of it, either.
And this wouldn't help my case.
I placed my hands on her waist and slowly pushed her back, swallowing hard as she blinked at me.
"Go to bed," I managed, my voice squeaking out. "I'll call you tomorrow morning."
She blinked at me a few more times before smiling brightly and turning on her heel. I watched as she disappeared into a room off to the side, listening to the door click before I yanked open the front door, flipped the lock and all but ran out of the apartment, listening carefully for the slamming of the door behind me.
My breath was heaving out of my chest as I reached my car and I leaned against it, closing my eyes tightly and running my hands down my face.
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