Eight

*Bella*

I parked my car in the driveway of my mother's house and grabbed my purse, slinging it over my shoulder as I grabbed the keys out of the ignition and climbed out.

Since Emmett and I had both moved out, she'd insisted on having a weekly dinner so that we could still catch up with everything that had happened during the week and I loved it. My mother was everything to me; she held me up when I couldn't do it on my own and she always did everything she could to keep me as sane as possible. Without her, I wouldn't have made it back from where I was headed six years ago. She was my best friend and I love her more than anything.

And I wanted to tell her all about what I knew of Edward. Admittedly, it wasn't much, but I did know that we'd spent the entire day together and I hadn't broken down in tears and sobs over something incredibly menial. All-in-all, the day had been a success and I was still smiling over the whole damn thing. For once in longer than I could remember, I felt like a normal human being again. And fuck, I loved it.

I hopped up onto the porch and pulled open the screen door, a bright smile on my face as I stepped into the kitchen and toed off my shoes. My mouth watered when the scent of pork chops filled my nose and I moaned, rolling my head on my shoulders and closing my eyes.

I missed her cooking. Heating things up in the microwave and eating it straight out of the plastic container it had come in just didn't have the same appeal as the homemade meals my mother always made.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, setting my purse on top of the dishwasher and shrugging out of my coat.

I didn't hear anything and smirked, shaking my head as I hung my coat up on the rack behind the door. Knowing her, she was probably off in the computer room, checking her email and delighting in sending me all of those damn chain letters she was so fond of. I hated them, but humored her and sent them out because she'd be the one to ask me why she hadn't gotten the friendship week one back yet.

"Mom! Hello?"

I walked through the kitchen and into the dining room, looking through the doorway of the computer room to see that it was empty. Licking my lips, I pressed them together and turned to walk into the living room.

"Mom? Where are...?"

I trailed off when I walked into the living room and saw Jake sitting on the couch, his hands clasped in front of him and his head hanging down. It was like my body completely shut down upon seeing him; I couldn't do anything but stare at him. He finally looked up at me, his eyes shining in the way I knew so well and his lips pursed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, wrapping my arms around my waist and looking away from him.

"You won't answer your phone. You're never home anymore," he scoffed, untangling his hands and reaching up to run one through his short hair. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out."

"Are you avoiding me?"

"Why are you here?" I sighed.

I was in such a damn good mood, too. Why did he need to be here to ruin it all?

"Jean was just in a bad mood, Bella. She didn't mean it."

I nodded and licked my lips, looking at him briefly before looking down at my feet.

"Was it true?"

"No," he said slowly, quietly.

I rolled my eyes, curling my arms tighter around my waist and looking in his general direction. Yes, that sounded completely convincing.

"Don't lie to me, Jake."

"Fine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "You do piss me off! You always think that I'm just gonna be there and half the time, I can't be! My world doesn't revolve around you!"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip and sucking in a deep breath through my nose as I stared hard at the wall next to him.

I'd gotten used to not having Jake around ever since he started dating Jean. I'd tried my hardest to only call him when I needed to talk to someone and while it may have been a lot, I never really thought it was that much. I never really thought that I was such a pest to him.

"Bella… I didn't…"

"Go," I said quietly, meeting his eyes. "I won't be a problem to you anymore."

"Bella, come on…"

"I mean it. I'm done bothering you. I won't be in your life at all anymore." I held my hands up and shook my head, licking my lips. We didn't have a friendship anymore; I was an inconvenience that I never wanted to be and I refused to continue on that way. "Thanks for sticking around for as long as you have."

The numb feeling that I got every time I watched someone I loved walk away from me settled around me and I swallowed hard, clenching my teeth together even as a small part of me managed to feel like it was dying.

I was just one big walking fucking contradiction.

"That's not what I want! That's not what I meant!"

"There are only so many ways that you can phrase Bella, you annoy the fuck out of me and I want nothing more to do with you, Jake. I've got it loud and clear." I wrapped my arms around my waist again and looked back down at my feet. "You're officially free of me."

"That's not what I want!"

"Then what do you want?" I sighed, reaching up and rubbing my fingertips against my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "You know how I am and you chose to stick around for all this time anyway. I haven't changed and as it stands right now, I probably won't. If all I do is piss you off and you're hoping that it'll just go away sometime soon, then you really need to leave."

"Bells, you're my best friend…"

"No," I said softly, dropping my hand and opening my eyes to look at him. "You're my best friend but I'm definitely not yours anymore. It hasn't been that way in a long time."

"What are you talking about? Of course you're my best friend!"

"That's why you never want to hang out anymore, right? Or why when I do see you, you have to leave ten minutes after you arrive because you've got plans with Jean? She's probably waiting for you now, right?"

"That's not the…"

"Just go, Jake," I sighed, shaking my head again. "You've clearly chosen your side and I'm not it."

"You chose for me! I didn't choose anything!"

"Do you disagree with me?"

"Yes!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head at him, sighing yet again.

"I just want you to get some help, Bella. You need to move on." He stood up and walked over to me, placing his hands on my arms. "I just want…"

"You think I don't know that I need to move on? You think I don't know that?" I asked through my teeth, narrowing my eyes at him. "You think it's fun for me to be this way? For you to be the only one outside of my family that I can actually trust? You think I like having to depend on you so much?"

"Bella…"

"Get out," I said lowly, meeting his eyes again.

"Bella, we just need to talk…"

"There's nothing more to talk about. Get out," I said again, swallowing hard. "I need to think."

"Will you call me?"

"I don't know." I looked down at my feet, shuffling them back and forth before taking a step backwards and licking my lips. "Maybe."

"I do love you, Bells."

I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head, listening as he walked around me and into the dining room, his heavy footsteps fading away when I heard the door open. I stayed still, waiting to hear it slam before I let my arms fall and looked up. I listened to hear his car start – and I wondered how in the hell I'd missed it when I pulled in – before I walked through the dining room and back into the kitchen to grab my purse. I watched through the window in the door as he pulled out of the driveway, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter as he drove off down the road. I threw my purse on the floor, grabbed my coat and yanked open the door, plopping down onto the front steps and quickly pulling a cigarette out of the pack. I lit it and threw the pack and lighter into my lap, shrugging my coat over my shoulders and leaning against the post of the railing, closing my eyes as I pulled in a drag.

I still felt numb. Acceptance – something that I'd had to get used to at a very early age – was something I'd just learned to deal with. I tried my best not to get attached to everyone, but it had been so hard with Jake. He wouldn't leave me alone in college; he called me constantly and always wanted me to hang out with him. Even when I said no, he would drive over to my place and forcibly drag me out with him no matter how much I screamed.

He was the one that had wanted this friendship to begin with. And when everything was fine, when he was still my best friend and I could tell him everything without ever feeling like I did now, Jean walks into his life and snatches it all away from us.

I rocked forward, resting my forehead on my wrist as my cigarette smoldered in my fingers and buried my free hand in my hair, forcing even breaths in through my mouth.

I had never done anything to her. I'd never said one bad thing about her and I'd never been a horrid wretched bitch like I should've apparently rightfully been to her. I didn't understand why she didn't like me, I didn't understand why hanging out and talking to Jake on a daily basis had always been such a problem for her. I wasn't interested in him in that way anymore; he was my friend.

And she'd stolen him away, too.

I brought the cigarette back to my lips, closing my eyes to avoid the smoke as I sucked in another drag and blew it out harshly through my nose.

"You really should quit, you know."

I merely turned my head and opened my eyes to see my mother walking up from the other end of the house, a rather large stick gripped tightly in her hand as she stopped and leaned against it. Her short brown hair was out of sorts from the little amount of wind that was blowing through, her cheeks were red and her coat was zipped all the way up to her chin. I relaxed only slightly at the sight of her, slumping against the railing again.

"Yeah, well," I grumbled, turning away from her and sucking in another drag. "I should quit a lot of things."

"Jake seemed pretty upset when he showed up here."

I scoffed and closed my eyes again, resting my forehead back on my wrist.

"He was trying to kiss my ass and I was ignoring him. Of course he was upset," I grumbled. "His girlfriend attacks me and I'm in the wrong."

"What happened, baby?" she asked quietly.

I looked up when I heard her voice closer to me, watching as she dropped the stick by the stairs and sat down next to me, groaning when her knee popped.

"It sucks getting old."

I smiled half-heartedly at her and took one more drag from my cigarette, exhaling the smoke before throwing it into the driveway and leaning my head against her shoulder. She wrapped one arm around my shoulders and rested her head on mine.

"Jean said that all I did was piss him off," I said quietly. "And then he confirmed it again today."

"I don't like that girl," she quipped, running her fingers through my hair. "Just because she's fucking him on a regular basis doesn't mean that she has the right to dictate who he's allowed to talk to."

I laughed and shook my head, playing with the small hole in the knee of my jeans.

"I don't know if it's all her, ma. He did this when we were in college, too. Remember?"

She hummed and nodded, her fingers still threading through my hair.

"I was good enough for him then, when he couldn't brush me off as easily. Not anymore."

"Honey, he's a man. And he lets his dick lead him to wherever it has a nice home. It apparently has a very nice home with Jean."

I snorted and buried my nose in her shoulder, shaking my head as she turned and wrapped both arms tightly around me.

"Are you still friends?"

I shrugged, breathing in the Moonlight Path scent that she doused herself in every morning.

"I told him I'd think about it."

"I think that's a good move." She began threading her fingers through my hair again and I closed my eyes, letting myself relax completely against her side. "Let him sweat it out a little more."

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I let the soothing motions of her fingers threading through my hair relax me completely.

"I miss my Jake."

"I know you do."

"Do you think I'm a pain in the ass?"

She laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, squeezing me tightly.

"Honey, I'm your mother. Of course I think you're a pain in the ass."

"Mom!"

"But I still love you unconditionally. And I'm sure that Jake loves you too. You're not the only one that needs to give some serious thought to all of this. Now that you've brought it to his attention," she kissed my head again before releasing me and grabbing the railing of the porch, "maybe he'll be able to get his priorities in order."

"What if I'm not a priority?" I asked, peering up at her as she stood up.

"Then you don't need him in your life, either, do you?" She dropped her hand on top of my head, ruffling my hair. "Come help me peel potatoes, Bells. Your brother will be here soon and you know how he is with his potatoes."

I rolled my eyes and smirked, sighing as I pulled myself up and turned around, following her back into the house and waiting for her to hang up her coat before I did mine.

I was terrified that she was right. If I wasn't a priority in Jake's life anymore… had I ever been? Had I ever been the friend to him that he was to me? Had I ever meant anything to him? Or had I always been just like a side project to him; someone he wanted to see if he could fix?

As little as he was in my life anymore, it was hard for me to imagine not having him there at all. He was Jake and he'd been my best friend; what was I going to do when he wasn't around anymore?

"How's work?" she asked nonchalantly as she walked over to the refrigerator and bent down to start pulling the insanely large potatoes out of the bottom drawer.

I grabbed both potato peelers out of the drawer by the sink and leaned against the faux wood kitchen counter, watching as she tucked the potatoes into her shirt before standing up.

"It's okay. Carlisle hired a new doctor. He started last Monday."

"Oh yeah? Is he nice?"

She dumped the potatoes into the sink and I handed her one of the peelers before grabbing a spud, leaning my hips against the counter and switching the faucet over to my side.

"He's very nice," I said quietly, nodding and forced to bite down on my bottom lip to stop the stupidly large and irrational grin from taking over.

"Mhmm," she hummed, waiting for me to finish rinsing off the potato before grabbing the faucet and yanking it over to her side. "Have you talked to him?"

"I've kind of been hanging out with him for most of the week." I began to gnaw on my bottom lip, taking extra care to place the peeler in the exact spot I wanted on the potato. "He wants to be my friend."

"And?"

"I don't quite know why."

"Best not to question some things, Bells. Is he cute?"

"Mom!"

"Well!" she exclaimed, laughing as she started rapidly peeling the skin from her own potato. I frowned as I looked down at the pathetically small strip I'd managed to peel off. She made it look so damn easy. "Is he?"

"Yeah," I managed around my teeth as I started gnawing on my bottom lip again. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Are you interested?"

"Why would I be interested?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Mom." I tilted my head over at her and she did the same back to me, one of her eyebrows raised in my direction. "No."

"Bella…"

"Please not today," I sighed, shaking my head and going back to my potato.

"All right," she sighed heavily. "Well, tell me about him, then. What's his name?"

I launched into everything that I'd wanted to tell her about the past week before I'd seen Jake sitting in my living room, getting a grand total of three potatoes peeled while she'd gotten the other six. She hummed and mumbled in all the places I figured she would've, huffing angrily when I told her the story about his parents and shaking her head in disgust.

"So he's out here by himself," I finished, leaning back as I watched her quickly dice up the potatoes and let them fall into the pot of water on the stove. "And it's been nice to hang out with someone who doesn't know everything already."

"Are you going to tell him?"

I shrugged one shoulder, grabbing a wedge from her and popping it into my mouth before I hopped up onto the counter and let my heels hit the cabinet below me.

"I don't know."

"It sounds like he already trusts you."

I shrugged again, staring down at my knees as I gripped the edge of the counter tightly and pressed my lips together.

"I don't know him enough."

"You will," she said confidently and I watched out of the corner of my eyes as she wiggled her hips a little at me. "You haven't told me about anyone else since you met Jake so I'm sure that you will."

I shrugged once more, uncomfortable as I leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest, watching as she grabbed another potato and started slicing that one up as well.

"We'll see."

"Go set the table." She reached up and hit my thigh with the back of her wrist, nodding towards the dining room. "Dinner will be ready soon."

I jumped down from the counter and walked over to the cabinet, grabbing three plates and pursing my lips.

"Is he bringing Rosalie?"

"Not that I know of. She had plans with Jasper, I think."

I breathed a silent sigh of relief as I closed the cabinet door and started towards the dining room.

I would never understand how Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were related to Rosalie at all. They were all the complete and total opposite of her; nice, friendly, outgoing and accepting of almost everyone they ever came into contact with. Jasper had his moods, but for the most part, he was always civil and nice towards me. Rosalie just outright hated me.

I sighed heavily as I set the plates on the blue placemats on the table, shaking my head.

What was another person on the list? Just because she was dating Emmett didn't automatically mean that she had to like me… and she most definitely didn't for reasons that I would never, ever understand.

Oh, what the hell. Who really needed more friends? I had… Edward.

I blinked at the white and blue patterned plate that I'd just set down, tilting my head to the side as my hands slipped to my sides and slapped against my thighs.

Edward was my… friend. We were friends. We spent time together. We laughed. We joked. He annoyed the fuck out of me as if he was specifically put on this Earth to push my buttons. He fought to be my friend. He wanted to be my friend. I'd said it a few times to him, sure, but I'd never really believed it until just a few seconds ago.

I vaguely heard the door slam as Emmett walked into the house, shouting that the King was finally home and demanding to be served. I listened for the tell-tale smack my mother would deliver to the back of his neck and smirked, shaking my head slowly as I continued to stare at the plate in front of me.

How did that happen? I never really wanted that to happen. Friends meant that I'd start to have some sort of emotional attachment to him and when he left, what would I do then? How would I deal with losing so many more people in such a short time? I couldn't do this; I couldn't be his friend. He couldn't be my friend. I wasn't good enough for him; he deserved to have better friends in his life. Alice and Angela; those two would be good friends for him. Not me, no. He was making a huge mistake in thinking that a friendship between the two of us could actually work.

I was a basket case. I was not good for him; I wasn't good for anyone in any kind of way.

"Bells? Hey! Bella! Snap out of it!"

I blinked rapidly, shaking my head as I looked up at Emmett. He was snapping his fingers in my face and his other hand was firmly placed in the middle of my back.

"I can't do it," I shook my head at him, swallowing hard.

"Do what, Bells?" he asked softly, placing his other hand on my shoulder and turning me to face him.

"I can't be his friend." I swallowed hard again and stared at his shoulder. "He'll leave and I can't… it's not… Emmett, I can't do it."

"Bella? What's going on?" my mother asked, walking into the dining room with the plate of pork chops I'd smelled earlier.

"I can't be his friend. He won't… it's not… I can't…"

"Hey," she said forcefully, setting the plate down on the table with a loud snap.

I swallowed hard once more and watched as she walked over to us, shoving her way in between Emmett and me and framing my face in her hands.

"Edward?"

I nodded.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm not good enough for him," I squeaked.

"Bells," Emmett said softly, his arms outstretched towards the both of us.

My mother moved one hand from my face and held it up, warding him off before she placed it back on my cheek.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm a nutcase!" I shrieked.

"I didn't raise a nutcase."

"Mom…"

"Listen to me," she said quietly, sliding her hands from my face to rest on my shoulders. "Not everyone is your father or Jake or James. They're not all going to leave you and they're not all going to hurt you. You don't know him that well so how do you know if he's going to be the same as the rest?"

Trust my mother to know immediately what was going on and what I was thinking.

"I'm not good enough," I managed weakly.

"Don't you ever say that," she said quickly and forcefully, shaking me once. "You are the best thing that could happen to anyone. Don't put the blame on this guy for the mistakes those assholes have made in the past, you got me?"

I nodded once and she sighed heavily.

"I mean it, Isabella Marie. You give this one a chance."

"He seemed like an okay guy, Bells. I didn't immediately want to kill him," Emmett offered.

I looked over at him and snorted half-heartedly, shaking my head and sucking in a deep breath.

"Promise me you'll try, Bella. If it doesn't work out and I was wrong, well… you're more than welcome to blame me and you can take my car for an entire month." I snorted again, looking down at our feet. My car, while I loved it more than I should love something that wasn't human, was a piece of crap. And her brand new Hyundai Elantra had power windows. "For me, Bella?"

"Okay," I said quietly, nodding and looking back up at her. "I'll do my best."

She smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss both of my cheeks, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders and swaying side-to-side with me.

"Aw!" Emmett squealed, taking a step towards us and wrapping us both in his arms, squeezing tightly. "I love my girls!"

I snorted into my mom's shoulder and twisted my hand around, pinching his stomach and laughing as he yelped, jumped back and glared at me.

"That wasn't fair!" he whined, rubbing his stomach.

My mom laughed, kissing my cheek one more time before she let go of me, shaking her head as she walked back into the kitchen.

"You could easily crush one or both of us," I stated, raising an eyebrow at Emmett as he continued to glare at me.

"Blame Grandpa," he shrugged easily, grinning at me.

"You really thought he was okay?" I asked quietly, bringing one hand up to pull at my bottom lip.

"I really thought he was okay," he nodded, stepping back over to me and flinging an arm around my shoulders. "Even when he was staring at your ass as you walked away."

I dropped my hand and rolled my eyes, lightly smacking his stomach and shaking my head.

"I'm sure he wasn't staring at my ass."

"Whatever you say, Bells," he sang, shaking his head dramatically. "I know where he was looking and it was most definitely your ass. Take that for what you will. Now…" He moved his arm from my shoulders, clapping his hands and rubbing them together as he grinned evilly at me. "About that motorcycle…"

"Emmett!" I screeched, laughing and pushing on his arm.

"Come on! I could teach you!"

I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed nervously, shrugging one shoulder and dropping his hands to his sides.

"Edward said he'd teach me to ride a bike and we could work up to the motorcycle," I said quietly, chewing on my bottom lip.

Emmett shook his head sadly, clucking his tongue and sighing heavily.

"I'll have to tell him to wear steel-toed shoes or something."

"I…" I stopped and shook my head, sighing and letting my shoulders slump forward. "It probably wouldn't be a bad idea."

He laughed loudly and pulled me back into his arms, hugging me tightly.

"You're gonna be fine with this guy, Bells. Maybe he'll be the one to change everything for you."

I sighed, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his chest.

"Maybe."

"If not, I'll kick his ass for you."

I laughed and squeezed him tightly, closing my eyes.

"Deal."

"All right!" my mother exclaimed, walking into the dining room with Emmett's precious potatoes. "Let's eat!"

Emmett quickly made his way out of my arms and into his spot at the head of the table, literally bouncing in his seat. I snorted and shook my head at him as I sat in the seat next to him, quickly grabbing the spoon he wanted and sticking my tongue out at him. He whined, I grinned and Mom shook her head at the both of us.

I loved Sundays.

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