Thirteen

*Edward*

"So, Edward."

I looked up to see Emmett smirking at me from across the table, leaning back comfortably in his chair.  Jasper and Ben were sitting in similar positions and I fought to stay where I was, in sudden fear for my life.

The girls had gotten up to use the bathroom – because God knows they can't go by themselves – and I was now at the mercy of everyone in Bella's life that I never wanted to face alone.  And they all looked like they'd been waiting for this opportunity since we walked in tonight.

I wanted to crawl underneath the table and hide.  I wonder if Bella would mind if I joined her in the bathroom.  I mean, it's not like they're out in the open, right?  They have stalls in there.  I could just hide under the sinks or something…

"Yeah?" I finally managed, swallowing hard and reaching for my glass of beer.

"How are you liking Forks so far?"

I eyed him as I placed the glass up to my lips, swallowing a mouthful before setting it back down and swallowing.

"I'm getting used to it.  It's a lot different."

"How do you like working at the office?" Ben asked, tapping his wedding ring against the edge of the table.

"I like it a lot.  Great people."

"Aside from Tanya," Jasper stated, raising an eyebrow at me.

I cringed and they laughed.

Progress?

"Yes, well, there's always one."

"Why'd you pick pediatrics?" Emmett asked, leaning forward and grabbing his beer glass.

"I like kids," I shrugged, picking up my glass again.

"Do you have any?"

I choked on the mouthful of beer I'd just taken and shook my head frantically, swallowing roughly before hacking up one of my lungs.

"Whoa, easy buddy," Jasper mumbled, slapping my back awkwardly.

"Would you like some water, sir?" our waiter asked, appearing at my side with a jug of iced water.

I nodded, my breathing slowly returning to normal as my coughing fit stopped.  I grabbed the glass once it was full and rubbed my eyes clear of the tears that had accumulated, swallowing as much water as possible as quickly as I could.

"No," I finally croaked out, shaking my head and clearing my throat as I set the water glass down.

"Do you want them?"

"Eventually."

Third degree much?  Fuck me.  I knew they were going to do something close to this, but asking about kids right off the bat hadn't even seemed like an option in my mind.

"All right, let's just get this out of the way," he said, holding his hands up and placing his palms down on the table.  "You seem like a pretty decent guy, but I don't know you that well yet.  What are your intentions with my sister?"

"Emmett," Ben groaned, reaching over the empty seat next to him and slapping his arm.  "Don't start this shit."

Yes, listen to the wise one at your left.

"I wanna know."  Emmett barely spared him a glance before his eyes were back on me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.  "You gonna leave her in two months?"

"Not unless she tells me to," I said quickly.

"What do you want from her?"

I met his eyes and stared back at him, tapping my fingertips against the tabletop.  I could understand the need to want to protect his sister – especially since the responsibility of watching out for her had probably been passed down to him when their father left – but this was getting a bit ridiculous.

"We haven't figured that out yet."  I sat up a little straighter in my seat and squared my shoulders.  "It's between her and me."

He sat back again, lifting his chin as he kept eye contact with me.

"All right," he finally grumbled.

I looked up when I saw Rosalie walking up behind Emmett and quickly found Bella following behind Angela and Alice with her head down.  I kept my eyes on her as she sat down in the seat next to me, her hair in her face, her posture stiff and I could practically see her curling into herself.  I looked over at Alice and Angela to find them glaring non-too-subtly at Rosalie as she sat down and wordlessly grabbed her drink.

I tried getting Bella's attention throughout the whole rest of the strained meal but she barely looked over at me.  When she did, she offered me one of the most pathetic smiles I'd ever seen from her and shook her head slightly at me, sighing and toying with her food.  She'd taken maybe three bites of the whole meal before asking the waiter to wrap it up and sitting back quietly while the rest of us ate.

Conversation throughout the rest of the dinner was uncomfortable and awkward no matter how many times someone tried cracking jokes or telling some sort of amusing story.  We finished eating, declined desert and paid our respective amounts before standing up, slinging our coats on and heading towards the door.

All I wanted to do was find out what had happened in the bathroom.  She wasn't exactly doing cartwheels before she went there to begin with, but she hadn't been completely detached and quiet, either.

"Do you need a ride home, Bells?" Emmett asked as we stood in a small circle outside the door.

I raised an eyebrow at him and bit my tongue to keep back the retort that immediately found its way there.

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head and looking up at him.  "I rode with Edward.  See you Sunday."

He stepped up to her and hugged her, mumbling something into her ear as her arms wrapped around him awkwardly due to the Styrofoam carry-out box she held in her hands.  I looked over him to see Rosalie standing off to the side, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes up in the air as she shook her head.

What the hell was her problem?

I looked back as Bella stepped back from him, quickly kissing his cheek and smiling softly at him.  We said goodbye to everyone, telling them that we'd see them tomorrow before everyone went in their separate directions to get to their cars.  Bella grabbed my elbow as I started towards the driver's side and pulled me back, her eyes once again giving away everything I never wanted to see when I looked back at her.

"Take a walk with me?" she begged quietly.

"Yeah, sure," I said softly, nodding.  "Let's put that in the car, though, okay?"

She looked down at her hands as if she were surprised to see the box in her hands before she nodded and looked back up at me.  I took it from her and unlocked the car, quickly opening the door and throwing it on the seat.  I slammed the door shut and locked it again before walking back to her side.  She grabbed my hand, twisting her fingers with mine before slowly pulling me away from the parking lot and onto the side of the street.

"What's going on, Bella?" I asked softly, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.

She huffed out a breath and shook her hair out of her face.  I waited patiently as she stared straight ahead of us, our footsteps echoing on the nearly empty sidewalk as she periodically squeezed my hand tightly.

"Do you want to know why Tanya hates me so much?" she finally asked.

"Only if you want to tell me."

She rolled her head over on her shoulder and raised an eyebrow at me.  I smirked and squeezed her hand.

"Yes, I want to know."

She held her head up and pressed her lips together as we kept walking, her hand still squeezing mine periodically.  She was quiet for a few more moments and I waited patiently, my thumb still circling the back of her hand as we continued to walk.

"I don't have much luck with men," she finally started, blowing out a breath.  "I was dating this guy – Josh – before I even met Mike and he was the sweetest guy I'd ever known."  She snorted out a quiet laugh and I smirked, pulling her in front of me as we passed someone else on the street.  She quickly stepped next to me when she could, her eyes focused on her shoes as we walked.  "We were freshmen and he'd just gotten an after school job as a stock boy at Wal-Mart because his parents told him that he needed to start saving if he wanted a car.  He wasn't there a week before he fell off a ladder."

My breath caught in my throat and I looked over at her, my eyes wide and my hand squeezing hers tightly.

"Was he-?"

"He fell into a coma," she said quietly, looking straight ahead and shaking her head.  "He died a few weeks later."

"Bella, I'm…"

"Tanya was his sister."  She looked over at me, her eyes impossibly sad and her hand clutching onto mine tightly.  "She hasn't forgiven me for falling so hard for Mike and grieving so much for him when I lost Josh first.  I miss him all the time," she whispered, shaking her head and looking ahead again.  "But it was just different with him for some reason.  I don't understand it and I'll never forget him or stop loving him, but…"  She shook her head again.  "She doesn't understand why Mike's initials are on my wrist as opposed to Josh's."

"They were different," I whispered.

She nodded and looked over at me again, licking her lips.

"It doesn't mean that I didn't care about him or love him.  It just means that it was different."

"She… you… twice?"

I wasn't even going to pretend to know how she dealt with all of that and still managed to come out the way she had.  She wasn't perfect and she was broken in a lot of ways, but she'd been put through one of the most painful experiences anyone could possibly experience twice and she was still… here, surviving and trying to live her life the only way she knew how now.

She nodded again, pulling me to a stop and stepping in front of me.  She shook her hand out of mine and reached up to place her hands on my chest, her fingers quickly playing with the fabric of my jacket.

"I am terrified, Edward," she whispered, looking up at me.  "I can't go through it again."

I placed my hands on her waist and leaned down to rest my forehead against hers.

"I won't get on any ladders.  I'm a very safe driver.  You have nothing to worry about," I whispered, shaking my head.

"You don't know that.  Things just happen, Edward, and you can't control them."

"And none of it was your fault."

She huffed out a breath and met my eyes, her hands moving from my jacket to wrap around my neck.

"I'm not good for you," she said quietly, shaking her head.  "I'll hurt you no matter how much I don't want to – and Edward, I don't.  I'll aggravate you and push you away and drive you insane to the point where you probably will leave me and I won't blame you at all."

"Bella…"

"I'm an emotional wreck, Edward."

"I know that."

She huffed out a laugh and shook her head again, biting her bottom lip.

"What happened in the bathroom, Bella?" I asked softly.  "What brought this on?"

"Rosalie hates me," she laughed sarcastically, rolling her eyes.  "I don't quite know why she hates me so much, but she does.  She told me everything that I just told you and I just want you to know what you're getting in to with me.  I just want to be honest with you."

"You have been," I whispered.  "You've laid it all on the line quite early."

"I don't want to lie to anyone; to you.  You don't deserve any more of that."

"Thank you."

"And I'm not sure that I'm ready for this."

"So we'll take it slow."  I rubbed my thumbs over her stomach.  "We don't have to rush into anything."

"I'm not what you should want.  You deserve better."

"You've heard about Lauren.  You're Heaven compared to her."

She sighed, closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip again.

"Why?" she whispered.

"I don't know."

She smirked and slowly opened her eyes again.

"No ladders."

"No ladders," I smiled, shaking my head.  "And no accidents."

"I won't cheat."

I shifted, leaning up and kissing her forehead.  I kept my lips pressed there as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me, slowly closing my eyes.

"I trust you," I whispered, snapping my eyes shut.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling back from me to bury her face into my chest.  My heart was beating double-time and I was sure that she could either feel it or hear it.  I swallowed hard and rested my chin on the top of her head, flattening my hands on her back.

"I'm getting there."

I dropped my head to her shoulder and bit back a sigh.

"You make me feel again, too, Edward," she whispered, her hands threading into my hair.  "I'm trying to be a better person; I’m trying to be who everyone in my life deserves…"

"Be you, Bella," I interrupted.  "Just be you."

"I don't know who that is anymore."

My heart broke a little and I pulled her against me even tighter, slowly rubbing my hands up and down her back as I buried my nose in her neck.

"Then be who you want to be.  Don't let anyone else influence you in anything."  I gently kissed her neck, smiling to myself when she didn't flinch away from me.  "I kind of like who I've been hanging around the past few weeks."

"That's because you're crazy, too," she said simply.

I laughed and squeezed her once before backing away, keeping my arms around her waist as I looked down at her.

"Kept you around all this time, didn't I?"

"I never said I was smart."

I smiled and reached up, pushing hair behind her ear before placing my hand on her cheek and rubbing my thumb over her chin.

"Come to Christmas at my house," she blurted, breathing out a shaky breath.

I raised an eyebrow at her, watching as my thumb brushed her bottom lip.

"What?"

"You can't spend Christmas alone."  She shook her head slightly.  "Spend it with me and my family."

"I'm perfectly okay with being by myself, Bella."

"I'm not."

"Oh no?"

She shook her head again and I watched as she tilted her head down, pressing a small kiss against the pad of my thumb.  I swallowed hard, my heart working overtime at the contact and the sparks that had dimmed only slightly with our conversation, surging full force through me.

"No."

"Will your family mind?"

I cleared my throat when my voice came out sounding hoarse and continued to brush my thumb against her chin, transfixed with the way her skin felt and hoping that she'd find it in her to do it again.

"No, they won't mind.  In fact, my mom would probably be very upset with me for not inviting you if she knew you'd be alone."

"Wouldn't want to upset your mom."

"You really don't.  She can be ferocious."

I laughed weakly and finally met her eyes.

"Will you come?" she asked softly, curling her fists into my hair.

"Yes."

She smiled brightly and I choked out a laugh, licking my lips and shaking my head slightly at her.

"You're quite persuasive."

"When I want to be."  I watched her smile falter as she pressed her lips together and I tilted my head at her.  "And I want to…"

She stood up on her toes and I closed my eyes when I felt her lips gently press against mine once.  I dropped my hand to her waist and wrapped my arms around her, swallowing hard and licking my bottom lip.  She moved one hand from my hair and placed it on my neck, stepping up and pressing her lips against mine again.  I slid my top lip in between hers, pulling her even tighter against me and trailing my tongue along her bottom lip.

"You're really very good at that," she whispered as she stepped down from me.

I laughed and kissed her once more.

"You're not so bad at it, either."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, untangling her hands from my hair and resting them on my shoulders.

"Come on.  I'll take you home," I said softly, grabbing one of her hands from my shoulder and holding on to it.

"Ready to get rid of me already, are you?" she asked as we started back towards the restaurant.

I looked over at her and smirked, shaking my head and freeing my hand from hers to wrap it around her shoulders and pull her against my side.

"Was there something else you wanted to do tonight?  Sky-diving?  Bungee jumping?"

"I'm scared of you being on a ladder and you want to jump off of a bridge?"

I laughed and leaned down, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her shoulders.

"I have an idea if you're up for it."  She looked up at me with a mischievous grin and I raised an eyebrow.  "Wanna drive to the supermarket real quick?"

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"Yeah, sure, all right," I agreed, shrugging and leading her back into the parking lot.

She laughed lightly and stood up on her toes to kiss my cheek before wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing me tightly.  I smiled and squeezed her back before we made it to the car.  I opened the door for her and waited for her to get comfortable before closing it and rounding the hood to my side.  I climbed into the seat and pulled out of the parking lot, enjoying the comfortable silence we were wrapped in until I pulled up to the nearly empty supermarket.

"You really aren't going to tell me what we're doing?"

She grinned over at me, shaking her head and placing her take-out box on the floorboards.  She grabbed her purse and pushed open the car door, her bottom lip in between her teeth as she stepped out.  I sighed heavily, my eyes on her ass as she walked to the front of the car before I got out and walked up next to her.

"I'll pay," she grinned at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the entrance.

I laughed and quickly pressed the button on my keys to lock the doors before following her into the warm supermarket.  I grinned at the back of her head and stepped behind her as we walked towards the frozen foods, letting go of her hand only to wrap my arms around her waist and laugh as she shrieked.

"Edward!" she laughed, grabbing onto my hands and hobbling along with me.

"Yes, Bella?" I asked innocently, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"There are people here!"

"I'd hope so.  Otherwise I'm sure they'd be losing a lot of business."

"What is this?" she laughed, tapping her fingertips against my hands.

"Those are my hands."

"What are they doing here?"

"They wanted to be close to you."

"Hm," she hummed, sliding her hands down to rest on my wrists.

"Is that okay?" I asked softly, still walking awkwardly with her.

She tilted her head slightly to rest against the side of my face and I smiled.

"It's fine."

"All right then."

She stopped us in front of the bakery freezer and I raised an eyebrow at the sheet cakes, cheesecakes and small deserts on the shelf.

"Pick one," she stated, grabbing what looked to be strawberry shortcake mashed in a plastic container.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

She slapped at my hands with her free one and I laughed, standing up straight and walking up to her side.  I perused my choices, pursing my lips before finally grabbing the one that was supposed to be chocolate éclair.

"Do these actually taste any good?" I asked, lifting it up and staring in at the contents.

"You have no idea."  She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me away from the freezer.  "Now we need spoons!"

I laughed and let her pull me, following her down the right aisle and watching as she grabbed an entire pack of plastic spoons from the shelf.

"Do you plan on doing this often?" I asked as we started in the direction of the check out.

"They don't sell them separately, Edward," she stated, looking back at me as if I were the one not making sense.

"Right," I coughed, covering up a laugh as I followed her up to the cashier.

I set my chocolate éclair thing on the conveyor belt and stood behind her as she paid, grabbing the bag once we'd gotten the receipt from the extremely bored cashier.  She grabbed my hand again, pulling me back out of the building and towards the car.

"Are we going anywhere?"

"No."

She hopped next to the passenger side door and grinned at me as I pulled the keys out of my pocket.  I laughed and walked up next to her, placing one hand on her cheek and leaning down to gently touch my lips to hers.

"I like you like this," I whispered as I pulled away from her.

She merely smiled at me and reached up to trace my jaw with her fingertips.  She stepped up and kissed me again before nodding once.  I unlocked the doors and grabbed the handle before she could, backing up and pulling it open before letting her climb in and closing it.  I quickly rounded the car once more and got in on my side, sticking my key in the ignition and looking over at her as she began rummaging through the bag.

"You don't mind us eating in here, do you?"

"Not at all."

"Good."  She pulled out our desserts and handed mine to me before grabbing the box of spoons and ripping open the top.  "You'll love these, I promise.  Instant stress relievers."

I laughed and nodded, pulling off the label holding the top and bottom together before grabbing the spoon she offered me.  I watched as she hacked into the label with her thumbnail, quickly popping off the top and digging her spoon into the whipped cream on the top.  I watched as she shoved it into her mouth, her eyes closing and her tongue coming out to lick her lips.

My mouth went dry and I think my jaw unhinged itself when it fell to my lap.  Then she made it ten times worse when she moaned loudly, throwing her head back against the seat.

"So good," she moaned, lifting her head and looking over at me.  "How's yours?"

"Uh…"

She raised an eyebrow at me and I quickly looked down at the container in my hand, finding that I was clutching it tighter than I should've been and the spoon in my other hand was one twitch away from being snapped in half.

"Did… was… me?" she questioned softly.

I swallowed hard and looked up at her, nodding and nervously licking my lips.

"You."

"Sorry."

I breathed out a laugh and shook my head.

"Don't be.  Good Christ, don't be sorry."

She offered me a nervous smile before looking down at the container in her hands, slowly stabbing at it with her spoon and quietly shoving another bite into her mouth.  I huffed and set mine in the cup holder between the seats, throwing the spoon to the floor before I reached over and grabbed her face in my hands.  Her wide eyes snapped to mine and I rested my forehead against hers.

"Don't be sorry," I breathed.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"It's not like I'm gonna jump you right here, right now, Bella."

"I know," she said softly, looking down.

"I just want to do this… a lot," I whispered before tilting her head back and capturing her lips with mine again.

She hopefully dropped her spoon and reached up with one hand to place it on my chest, her fingers curling into my shirt as she immediately responded to me.  I smiled and opened my mouth against hers, running the tip of my tongue on her bottom lip.  I plunged my hands into her hair when her tongue snaked out to meet mine, sparks exploding through my body almost immediately.

We jumped apart when we heard a tinny, annoying ringtone sound throughout the mostly quiet car and I sighed, immediately recognizing it as mine.  I kissed the corner of her mouth quickly before reaching over her and pulling open the glove box.

"Sorry," I mumbled, kissing her once more before I hit the right button on my phone and pressed it to my ear.  "Hello?"

"Edward."

I froze and closed my eyes, slowly leaning back in my seat and shaking my head.

"Yes?"

Hang up the phone, Edward.  Hang up the fucking phone.  Or hell, get a new god damned phone number like you should've in the first fucking place, dipshit.

"It's about time that you answered your phone," my mother's clipped voice continued to ring through my ears and I grit my teeth, immediately feeling every inch of me tense.  "Why have you been ignoring me?  I've been worried sick about you!"

"Right," I managed through my teeth.  "What do you want?"

"I want to know when you're going to stop this foolishness and come home."

"I am home."

She scoffed and I tightened my hand around the phone, reaching out and quickly grabbing onto the bottom of the steering wheel with my other.

"I can have you enrolled back in college within a few weeks, Edward."

"I've already finished college, mother.  I'm not going anywhere."

"You've already ruined your relationship with Lauren!" she exclaimed and I unwound my fingers from the steering wheel to quickly punch the center of it.  The horn sounded briefly, but I barely heard it over the rush in my ears.  "What more proof could you possibly need to know that I was right?"

"Does it matter to you at all that I'm happy now?"

"You can't possibly be happy.  You've ruined your life, Edward, and you've ruined mine in the process!  Just come home so that we can figure it all out and make it right."

"There's nothing to figure out!" I shouted, pounding the side of my fist against the top of the steering wheel.  "I'm not changing anything!"

"You've broken my heart, Edward!  Don't you care about that?"

"Well, you fucking shattered mine!"

I ripped the phone away from my ear and jammed my thumb down on the end button, my breath heaving in my chest as I stared at the brightly lit screen.  I quickly turned it off, still staring at the now-dark screen as I worked on letting go of it.

"Edward?" Bella asked softly.

"Five minutes," I breathed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes again as I dropped the phone to the center console.  "Give me five minutes."

She was quiet and I listened as the shopping bag rustled while she presumably got another spoon.  I worked on getting my breathing under control, forcing my mother's voice out of my head and trying to relax.

"Turn the radio on," she said quietly after we'd sat in silence for a while.

"Bella… please."

"Your five minutes are up.  Turn the radio on."

"Give me five more," I said between my teeth.

Could she not plainly see that I wasn't in the mood for whatever she had planned right now?  I needed to calm down and I couldn't do it with her yapping about turning the radio on.

She dropped it and I went back to breathing through my nose until I heard my keys rattle in the ignition.  My eyes popped open as the seatbelt bell dinged and the radio came to life.

"Bella," I warned, slowly looking over at her.

"Get out of the car."

Her voice was shaking and she wasn't looking at me as she played with the radio stations.

"What?"

"Get out of the car."

"Why?"

"You trust me, right?"

Unfortunately.

"Yes."

"Then get out of the car," she said once more, her voice still shaking and her gaze still centered on the radio as she continued to fidget with the knobs.

I huffed and grumbled at her before almost violently shoving open the car door and climbing out.  I left the door open, watching her carefully as she leaned more comfortably on the center console and bit her bottom lip.

"Now what?" I exclaimed, throwing my arms at my sides.

She held up one finger and I noticed that not only was her voice shaking, but her hands were, too.

Great job, Edward.  Scare the shit out of her, why don't you?

I watched her, crossing my arms over my chest until I heard an intro to some song that I don’t think I'd ever heard before start to blare through the speakers.  I dropped my arms as she climbed out of the car, both of our doors open as she walked towards me.

"Will you dance with me?" she asked quietly as she came to a stop in front of me.

"Seriously?"

She nodded and cautiously stepped up to me, slowly grabbing my hands and placing one on her waist.

"We're in a parking lot."

I folded my other hand around hers and pulled her to me, not missing the way she was still shaking or the way she seemed to be compulsively swallowing.

Because of me.

"Of a supermarket," she confirmed, shooting me a timid smile.

"Why…?"

"Why not?"  She stepped into me and draped her other arm over my shoulder.  "What have we got to lose?"

I sighed heavily and started moving in slow circles with her, shaking my head.

"This time all I want is you, there is no one else, who can take your place."

"Close your eyes," she said softly, her hand still shaking as she pressed it against my cheek.

"I don't…"

"Edward," she whispered, tilting her head to the side.

I huffed and did as she asked, licking my lips and shaking my head once.

"This time you burned me with the way, you see past all the lies, you take it all away."

"What is the point of…?"

"Can you not talk for five damn minutes?" she asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

"I tried that and you…"

"Edward, just shut up," she sighed.

"I've seen it all and it's never enough.  It keeps leaving me needing you.  Take me away, take me away, I've got nothing left to say, just take me away."

"Just listen, okay?" she whispered, stepping in closer to me.

I sucked in a deep breath and did my best to calm the whirlwind in my head, concentrating on the words coming from my speakers and the slow circles we were making.

In a parking lot.  After I just had a fight with my mother.  Who just told me everything that I already knew and completely ruined the entire night for me.

"I try to make my way to you, but still I feel so lost.  I don't know what to say, what else to do."

"Bella, I'm sorry," I whispered, opening my eyes and stepping back from her, reaching up and running both of my hands through my hair.  "I… this isn't working."

She forced a smile on her face and nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and taking a step back.

"Okay."  She shrugged and nodded again.  "Let's just… go, okay?"

I nodded and dropped my hands from my hair, watching as she turned and walked back to her side of the car.  I kept watching as she crawled back into her side and quickly turned the radio off, closing the door and pulling the seatbelt across her lap.  I sighed heavily and got back into my side, slamming the door and hastily grabbing the seatbelt to strap it across me.  I looked over at her as I turned the key completely and saw that she was staring down at her lap, her hands pressed together in between her knees.

Thanks, mom.  You sure know how to fuck up what had the potential to be one hell of a good night, don't you?

I shifted the car into gear and pulled out of the parking space, starting in the direction of her apartment complex.  The entire ride was spent in silence and my heart fell even further in my chest when I looked over to find that she was staring out her window.  I pulled up next to her car and turned the key in the ignition, staring at her front door and nervously chewing on my top lip.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

She jumped, looking around and blinking as if I'd just woken her up.  Hell, maybe I had.

"What?  Why?" she asked, clearing her throat and looking over in my general direction.

"For… all of tonight."

"Nothing was your fault."

"It's my fault you're looking at me like that.  Or, rather, not looking at me like that."

She sighed and finally looked up at me.  I tilted my head at her and reached over, placing my hand on her cheek.  She flinched and I closed my eyes, dropping my hand back to my lap.

"I scared you," I whispered.

"I'm not… I don't like… yes."

"Bella, I'm so…"

I stopped when I heard her open the door and squeezed my eyes tightly together, shaking my head and leaning forward to rest my head on the steering wheel when she slammed the door closed.

Fuck.

I jumped when my door opened a few seconds later and looked up to find Bella bending down on the ground next to me.  She sat up a little, resting her knees on the side of the car and reaching up to thread her hands through my hair.

"I don't like yelling.  I'm not a confrontational person.  When there's something important that I want to say, I write it in a long ass letter and wait for whomever to come and talk to me about it.  So yes, you did scare me," she said softly, resting her hands at the back of my neck.

"I'm-"

"But I understand," she whispered, leaning up even more to rest her forehead against mine.  "I just tried to make you feel a little better."  A pathetic smile flitted across her face before it was gone.  "I wanted to do something."

People left this?  They left this beautiful woman with a heart of gold because they were too lazy to take the time to really get to know her or stick around when things got a little tough?

Idiots.

"You're doing it now."

"Come inside," she said softly, her thumbs rubbing along the back of my neck.  "We can watch a movie or just sit there and stare at each other if you want."

I choked out a laugh and slowly leaned in, touching my lips to hers and smiling slightly when she immediately kissed me back.

"It's what we should've done in the first place," I mumbled.

"Live and learn."  She shrugged and stood up, holding out her hand to me.  "Next time, we'll think of some excuse."

I reached over and grabbed her things from the floor, quickly grabbing my half-melted chocolate éclair from the cup holder and my keys before I climbed out of the car and stood next to her.

"Come with me tomorrow to get a new phone?" I asked as she took her purse from me and began rummaging through it.

"Of course," she said absently, pulling out her keys and holding them up triumphantly.  "Hey, at least Tanya wasn't there."

I slammed the door with my elbow and smirked at the back of her head as she walked up to her door.

"Very true," I said quietly, following her and waiting as she opened the door.

I closed the door behind me with my elbow as we made it inside and followed her into the kitchen, setting everything in my arms down on the counter next to the refrigerator before turning to her and wrapping her in my arms.

There were a thousand and one things that I wanted to say to her; tell her how fucking amazing I really think she is, tell her that everyone that had left her up until this point was a god damned moron, tell her that it was very possible that she'd make me believe in everything I never thought I'd ever find or want ever again.

Instead, I buried my nose into her hair and gently kissed her neck, pulling her tightly against me and closing my eyes when she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"Thank you," I managed.

"I didn't do anything."

"Trust me," I laughed, kissing her neck one more time before standing up straight and looking down at her, "you've done more than I have a right to accept."

She tilted her head back and brought one hand to my cheek, slowly running her pointer finger down the bridge of my nose and smiling softly.

"Trust me," she started, resting her pointer finger on the tip of my nose, "you deserve it."

I reached up and grabbed her hand, quickly pressing my lips against her palm before placing it on my chest and holding onto her wrist.

"Thank you," I whispered, leaning down and resting my forehead against hers.

"Anytime," she whispered back, her eyes sliding closed.  "Get your dessert; we can watch a movie."

I smiled softly and tilted my head, gently kissing her top lip before crushing her to me once more and burying my nose in her neck.  Her arms moved from my shoulders, slipping underneath my arms and wrapping around my waist as she rested her cheek against my chest again.

She was probably the most broken person I'd ever known, but she was also the only person I could possibly think of that would make me dance with her – even if it was only for a few seconds – in a parking lot while she was so scared because I'd risen my voice just so that I might calm down.  She was strong and brave and everything I never would've imagined I needed in my life.

And I wasn't going to let her go.

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