Six

*Bella*

"Bella?"

I looked up from picking tiny, balled up pieces of paper out of my hair to see Carlisle standing in the doorway, an eyebrow raised in my direction.

"Hi," I smiled sheepishly, immediately dropping my hands to my lap and trying to ignore the little piece of paper I could see hanging in my hair from the corner of my eye.

Fucking Edward and his god damned promises to annoy the shit out of me today. I had to give it to him – he kept his word and he was very fucking good at it. I wanted to strangle him a few hours ago when he started this shit.

He thought it was hilarious. I was tempted to choke him with his stethoscope.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure." I popped up out of my seat, flipping off Alice and Angela behind my back as they tried to unsuccessfully hold back their laughter. "Everything all right?"

"Just something I wanna talk to you about," he said easily, ushering me into his office ahead of him and closing the door behind us.

I quickly got comfortable, sliding my feet out of my heels and folding them beneath me as I sat down in one of the chairs that almost matched the ones in Edward's office. His were a dark red; Carlisle's were a forest green that matched the walls.

Carlisle turned the chair next to me and sat down facing me, clasping his hands in his lap and licking his lips.

"What's up?"

"How are you? I know we haven't really had much of a chance to sit down and talk. It's been hectic around here this week."

"I know and I'm fine," I said quietly, offering him a small smile and nodding.

He stared at me for a few moments before nodding and licking his lips again, sucking in a deep breath.

"Tanya came to me this morning," he started slowly and I sighed heavily, tilting my head and pulling one of my knees up to my chest. "She mentioned something about you and Edward being involved."

"You know she's out of her mind crazy, right?" I asked, leaning forward and resting my chin on my knee.

"Bella," he chastised, tilting his head and pursing his lips at me. "Tanya is a very good nurse…"

"Yes, she is," I agreed quickly, wrapping my arms around my leg, "but please, and I'm begging you right now, tell her to get some scrubs that fit?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I'll talk to her about it. Are you going to answer my question?"

"There's nothing going on between us, Carlisle."

"Is it true that you've been with him after work ever since he got here?"

"She was making him uncomfortable and he clearly didn't want to go anywhere with her. So, I intervened. And we've only been out to coffee twice. We had dinner here last night."

"You stayed here… alone… with a man you barely know?"

"Yes."

"Bella," he said quietly, leaning forward on his elbows.

"Carlisle."

"I want to make sure you're okay. He didn't try anything with you, did he?"

I reached up and rubbed my forehead, closing my eyes tightly and shaking my head.

"No," I breathed out. "We just… we talked, Carlisle. That's all we do when we're together. We hang out, we talk…"

"Are you sure? Bella, you can tell me. He'll be gone in two seconds flat."

I smiled humorlessly and continued to shake my head. I could appreciate that he wanted to take care of me and watch over me and make sure that everything was all right, but did I really seem like I needed that much protection from everyone? Edward was the first guy outside of Jake that I'd talked freely to and was able to actually laugh with and now Carlisle wanted to get rid of him for it.

It was absolutely amazing how fucked up my life could really be sometimes.

"I'm sure," I said quietly, looking over at him as I dropped my hand and opened my eyes. "Thank you."

He nodded but didn't move from his position, still watching me intently.

"Are you going to try therapy again?"

I ground my teeth together and sharply shook my head once, looking away from him and staring at one of his medical degrees hanging on the wall.

"Bella, I really think that it'd be good for you."

"I'm sure it would be," I agreed quietly, swallowing hard and forcing my jaw to relax. "But I can't. I cannot walk into that room and lay it all on the line for them to tell me that I need some heavy duty prescription drugs or should rightfully be in some sort of mental institution."

"Bella, you're not that bad. They won't even think…"

"They'll judge me," I said harshly, glaring over at him. "Everyone does."

"Bella…"

"It's been six years, Carlisle. I should be over it."

"You never get over something like this."

"I should be better," I spat, looking away from him again and bringing my other knee up to my chin.

"Everyone heals at their own pace."

"Six years?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the back of his desk chair.

"If necessary."

I scoffed and closed my eyes again, shaking my head.

"I'm not ready," I whispered. "I thought I was but… I'm not."

"Okay," he said quietly and I felt his hand on my back, rubbing circles. "You can try another time, then."

I grunted in response and kept my eyes closed, breathing evenly as he kept rubbing my back.

He was only doing this because he cared about me. He – like my mother and Emmett – just wanted me to be okay again. I don't really remember a time when I was okay, but I wanted to be that for them. They deserved that much and I wanted to be that for them someday.

I just didn't think that I could do it right now.

"Why don't you go get some air?" he suggested softly after a few minutes. "Take a walk, get some coffee… whatever you want to do."

I nodded and stood up, sliding my feet back into my shoes and smoothing down the non-existent wrinkles in my shirt.

"Do you want anything?"

He shook his head and stood up as well, quickly wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. I sighed heavily and wrapped my arms around his trim waist, resting my cheek on his chest and closing my eyes again.

"I'm only trying to help, Bella."

"I know," I mumbled.

"Take as long as you want, all right?"

I nodded, knowing that if I was gone for more than fifteen minutes, it'd be a miracle. I needed a cigarette and maybe some more coffee; it would keep my mind occupied long enough so that I didn't have to think about any of this shit anymore.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks."

He kissed the side of my head before releasing me and walking with me towards the door. I kept my head down as I walked down the hallway and into the front office, ignoring the looks I got from Alice and Angela as I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder.

"Do you two want anything?" I asked quietly, tapping papers together in an effort to waste the time it would take for them to answer.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked, her voice quiet and cautious.

I bit my bottom lip and swallowed hard, knowing full well what that tone meant coming from her.

She feels sorry for you. They all do. That's the only reason they try to make any effort at all to talk to you anymore. You just annoy all of them anyway.

"Jared's."

"No, thanks," Angela piped up, her voice almost matching Alice's.

I nodded and swallowed again, quickly walking out of the office and making my way into the lobby, sliding by children to grab my coat. I slung it over my arm before walking out of the building completely, my heart hammering against my chest as I took each step. I stopped at the corner of the road, dropping my purse to the ground and quickly sliding my coat over my shoulders before I bent down and grabbed my cigarettes and lighter. I slung my purse back over my shoulder and leaned back against the building as I lit it, taking a deep drag from it and closing my eyes once again.

The day had been going so damn well, too.

Edward had wasted no time in driving me insane as soon as we walked in. He held the creamer for my desperately needed coffee hostage in his office for twenty minutes, he jumped out of corners at me, he called the office from his cell phone, pretending to have a sick child and getting into it as far as making an appointment – with himself – until he burst out laughing and hung up. The balled up pieces of paper had been his latest stunt; each time he'd walked into the front office, he'd dump an entire handful on my head before running into his office and locking the door so that I couldn't follow.

Now I understood why he wanted to be a pediatrician; he acted just like all the children he saw each day. He was driving me out of mind.

Sadly enough, I couldn't say that I hated it as much as I should've. It was nice to have fun without worrying about the consequences I'd have to deal with later on down the line.

But then… enter Carlisle with his heart of gold and questions that I didn't have the answers to.

Sighing heavily, I threw my finished cigarette into the street before crossing it and walking into the familiar red and brown dining room of Jared's Diner.

"Hey, Bella! Long time no see!" Embry Call exclaimed as he walked by me with a tray hoisted above his head.

"Hey, Embry," I smiled, stepping up to the counter to wait for him.

I loved this place and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed having lunch here. Embry and Quil – best friends since birth, it seemed – had taken over when Quil's uncle retired and this place had never been so busy. Everything was homemade – thanks to Quil's wife, Claire – and healthy and the two of them were pure entertainment. They fought like an old married couple and made sure that every table had laughed at one of them at least once during their meal. It was a very relaxed, calm and enjoyable environment that I hadn't visited nearly enough in the past week.

Embry finally made his way behind the counter, setting the tray at his feet and grinning at me as he wiped his hands on the front of his white apron. He reached for a coffee cup at his side, quickly turning to grab the carafe behind him.

"The usual, right?"

"Plus a black coffee, two sugars," I said without thinking, surprising myself.

I probably still had paper in my hair – confirmed when Embry reached across the counter and picked a few pieces out as he set my coffee down – and I was getting him coffee? What the hell was wrong with me?

…Aside from the obvious, of course.

"Do I want to know?" he asked, holding up the small piece of paper in between his fingers before throwing it over his shoulder and starting to fix Edward's coffee.

He grinned at me as he poured more than two spoonfuls of sugar into the black coffee when he turned to face me, snapping the to-go lid on top and pushing it over to me.

"Edward thinks he's funny," I grumbled, huffing as I pulled my wallet out of my purse.

"Ah, yes," he mused, reaching up and tapping his chin with his pointer finger. "He seems like a fun guy."

I rolled my eyes and smirked, throwing the money at him before replacing my wallet in my purse and grabbing the coffee cups.

"Thanks, Embry."

"No problem, Bella," he grinned, grabbing the tray from where he'd had it resting against the counter and turning to walk back towards the kitchen, yelling at Quil about there not being enough coffee out front.

I laughed and shook my head as I made my way out of the diner and back across the street. I took a deep breath before juggling both coffee cups and pushing through the door, once again stepping around children as I walked through the other door and made a beeline towards Edward's office. I could practically feel Alice and Angela's eyes on my back and merely stood up a little straighter, squaring my shoulders and taking another deep breath as I stood outside his door. I managed to tap my knuckles carefully against the distorted glass, able to see his blurry figure sitting at his desk.

"Come in!" he called cheerfully.

I pursed my lips and glared at the blurry edges of him. Sure, I could've easily juggled the cups in my hands again but with him just sitting there, undoubtedly thinking of another way to annoy me today, I was not opening this door.

"I would if I could."

I watched as his blurry figure moved from his desk, carefully approaching the door. I snorted as he stood still on the other side, obviously eyeing me.

"Do you come in peace?"

"I'm not a freaking alien, Edward."

"What's in your hands?" he asked as he plastered himself up against the door.

I laughed loudly, biting my bottom lip as I heard footsteps behind me. I could clearly make out the tip of his nose and his fingertips against the glass and the thought of even trying to hold back any type of laughter at that point was out of the question.

"Coffee," I managed, clearing my throat when I heard a very Tanya-like huff from behind me before her footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

"For me?"

I rolled my eyes and tilted my head, staring at his white fingertips against the glass.

"No. I bought it for Carlisle and just feel like leaving it with you to taunt you."

"Then why would I let you in?"

"Would you open the door?" I laughed, kicking it gently.

"Fine," he huffed dramatically, pulling open the door and eyeing me. "It's really coffee?"

I nodded, rolling my eyes again as I handed it to him.

"What else would it be?"

"Mud?" he shrugged, grinning at me before taking the cup from my hand.

"You are… absolutely absurd."

He nodded once at me before moving out of the way and using his free hand to invite me inside.

"How'd you get the privilege of going on a coffee run?" he asked as I tentatively took a step inside and let my purse fall from my shoulder, dangling around my elbow.

"I needed some air."

He seemed to freeze, slowly looking over at me.

"Just say the word, Bella, and I'll stop."

"It's not you." I smiled humorlessly for the second time within an hour and shook my head, shifting uneasily on my feet as I stood in the doorway. Not only was I a paranoid wreck, but I seemed to have turned him into one, too. "It's just… life."

He nodded, pulling back the plastic cover on his lid and lifting the cup to his lips.

"Still on for dinner tonight?" he asked as he rounded his desk and sat back in his chair.

"As long as you're still paying."

"That was the deal. And now I owe you a coffee, too."

I rolled my eyes and waved him off, wrapping both of my hands tightly around the cup and looking down at it.

"Don't worry about it."

"Edward? Your next appointment is here," Tanya sneered, suddenly appearing in the doorway, slapping a file against her palm as she glared at me. "Shouldn't you be working?"

Her scrubs consisted of Woody the Woodpecker today.

I had no words. My mouth moved, but no sound came out and all I really wanted to do was laugh my ass off. Where the hell would she even find scrubs like those? The kids probably had no idea who the little red cartoon bird even was.

Edward coughed, obviously covering up a laugh as he stood up and walked over to me. I was too busy trying to form some sort of coherent thought about her scrubs and trying to figure out what to say to her without making it seem like harassment to notice that his hand was on my elbow.

"Thank you for the coffee, Bella," he managed, clearing his throat. "I'll see you tonight."

His thumb was rubbing up and down through my coat and by the time I realized that I should've flinched away from him and put ten feet of space between us, he was walking out of the office with Tanya quick on his heels. I blinked after him, swallowing hard and shaking my head. Wasn't gonna dwell on that right now; my mind was full and I refused to make it any worse.

I looked around his office, noticing that he'd already put some books on the shelves, a black iHome with a silver iPod was on the edge of his desk and there was even a rather large plant in the corner. There weren't any personal pictures of his family or anyone I could assume were friends framed anywhere in the office and I tilted my head slightly.

Was he completely alone out here? He had to have friends back in Chicago… maybe even a girlfriend of some sort that he still kept in contact with. He was a relatively gorgeous man and I couldn't imagine him not having anyone in his life anymore.

Shrugging and sighing, I walked out, closing the door behind me as I made my way back to the front office. I set the coffee on the counter and dropped my purse to the floor, kicking it underneath and shrugging out of my coat.

"Everything okay, Bella?" Angela asked, her voice still cautious.

"Yes," I said quietly, turning to look at the both of them and smiling a little. "Everything's fine."

As I walked out of the office and back into the main lobby to hang up my coat, I realized that for once this entire week, everything really was fine.

~*~

I jumped and looked up when I felt something hit the top of my head and my eyes narrowed when I saw Edward standing in the doorway, a cheeky grin on his face as he leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What do you want?" he asked, jerking his chin in my direction.

"I want you to stop throwing things at me," I laughed, picking up the blue pen cap from where it fell on my blotter and chucking it back at him.

"To eat, Bella," he sighed dramatically, easily catching the pen cap in his hands and throwing it up in the air. "What do you want to eat?"

"I'll go get it," I said easily, shrugging as I leaned my elbows on the counter. "Tell me what you want."

"You went yesterday. I'll go today."

"You also have work to do."

He shrugged and rolled his eyes, waving me off and standing up straight. He walked into the office and I swirled around in my chair, watching as he sat down in Alice's seat and continued to throw the pen cap up above him.

"It'll still be here when I get back." He caught the pen cap on its way down, raising an eyebrow at me and pursing his lips. "Will you be?"

"Do you not trust me or something?" I smirked.

He grinned and shook his head, throwing the pen cap up again.

"About as much as I trust Tanya."

My mouth dropped open and I reached behind me, grabbing the first thing my fingers wrapped around – that being the edge of my blotter – and reached over to smack him with it. He laughed, losing the pen cap and holding his hands up to shield his face as I continued to hit him.

"That was insulting!" I exclaimed, standing up and taking a step towards him. "I am so much more trustworthy!" I reached out and grabbed one of his hands in my own, ignored the tingling sensation coursing up my arm as I pulled it away from his face and smacked the top of his head with the blotter. "She's a dirty ho!"

He laughed loudly, reaching up with his free hand to grab the other edge of the blotter. I dropped his hand and pulled, biting my bottom lip as he did the same.

"Say it!" I exclaimed, eyeing him as I continued to pull.

"Say what?" he laughed, pulling back and causing me to almost lose my balance.

I dug my heels into the carpet and pursed my lips at him, tugging on the edge of the blotter with all of my strength and only succeeding in making him lurch forward a little bit. Maybe I needed to start going to the gym if I was going to be forced into impromptu tug-of-war fights.

"That you trust me more than her!"

"But I don't trust her, either!"

"No one trusts her, dumb shit," I laughed, glaring at him as I continued to yank on the blotter.

"Bella," he laughed, yanking hard on his end of the blotter.

I squeaked out a scream as I lurched forward and let go of my end, my hands landing on his chest as I leaned over him. We amazingly didn't move and I didn't end up pushing us both on our asses as I could only thankfully assume that he had his heels dug into the carpet as well. Our foreheads were almost touching and our eyes were immediately connected. My heart began beating rapidly in my chest and I heard him swallow hard as he dropped the blotter to the floor.

"I don't tell anyone about my parents," he said quietly. "Not unless I have to."

"You didn't have to tell me."

His lips twitched into a small smirk before it disappeared and he nodded, his forehead bumping gently into mine as he did so.

"Exactly."

My eyes widened as it clicked and it was my turn to swallow hard.

"Oh."

"Yeah," he said slowly, huffing out a breath through his nose.

"Oh for fuck's sake, get a room!"

I jumped away from him when I heard Tanya's voice float in through the doorway and nervously wrapped one arm around my waist, tangling the other in my hair. I'd forgotten about her still being here; it had been so peaceful and quiet without her yesterday afternoon that it had been easy to forget that she still existed.

"Hello, Tanya," Edward said easily.

"I told Carlisle about this, you know," she sneered, glaring at the both of us. "He didn't approve."

"What?"

I looked over to see Edward's face pale and swallowed hard, torn between wanting to laugh hysterically and hide underneath the counter to avoid what was sure to be an interesting conversation.

"Edward," I said softly.

His frantic eyes snapped to mine and he reached up to run his hands through his hair. Tanya sniffed satisfactorily before stomping to wherever it is that she needed to go and I listened to hear a door slam.

"He's… she's… he's gonna fire us!" he squeaked.

"He's not going to fire us," I said softly, shaking my head and licking my bottom lip. "He asked me about it earlier and I told him that nothing was going on. It's fine. Our jobs are safe."

I couldn't stop the thoughts running through my head and swallowed hard, still shaking my head at him. Would being with me in that way really be such a horrible thing for him? I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly, biting my bottom lip and reaching down to grab the blotter from the floor next to him.

Yes, it would be, because I didn't want it either. I didn't want anything with anyone.

I set the blotter back on the counter, my eyes landing on the picture and my left hand immediately going to my right wrist, rubbing against the tattoo there.

"So, uhm… what do you want to eat?"

"I can get it."

"Do we really need to go over all of this again?" he laughed quietly.

"I'm done for the day, Edward."

"Well, then we can both go," he decided. "And then we can both come back here and eat it."

I pursed my lips and snorted, shaking my head as I turned around to face him again. He was smirking at me, once again completely relaxed in Alice's chair with his hands in his lap and his feet resting on the bars of the chair.

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"

He shrugged easily before standing up and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Well, you won't actually go out to dinner with me so…" he trailed off, his smirk turning into a full-fledged grin as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You have work to do!" I exclaimed, laughing incredulously at him.

"And I always manage to get it done, don't I?"

Yes, he did, and I never understood how. Between all the conversations we'd had in the past week and all the issues I'd had with everything about him, it was amazing that he still managed to get anything done at all.

"Besides, tomorrow's Saturday. I have the whole weekend to get it done."

"Just wait until Carlisle makes you start volunteering at the hospital on the weekends."

He merely raised an eyebrow at me, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head a little to the side.

"Fine! Let's go," I huffed.

He bounced from foot to foot excitedly before he swept his arms in front of him, motioning me to go first. I rolled my eyes and snorted at him, grabbing my purse from the floor before walking out of the office and down the hallway. I waited for him as he presumably grabbed his briefcase from his office, playing with my purse strap as he walked into the lobby and shrugged his coat on, still grinning at me. I rolled my eyes and snorted as he held the door open for me and we walked outside. I waited for him again as he ran to his car and dropped his briefcase in the back, nearly sprinting back and standing proudly next to me.

Bastard wasn't even breathing hard.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked as we started down the sidewalk.

"I may not answer it."

I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold.

"You seem close to Carlisle."

I waited for the question he wanted to ask and turned to face him as we reached the corner of the street, an eyebrow raised.

"And?"

"Why is that?"

I sucked in a deep breath and huffed it out, turning to look out across the street, my eyes landing on Jared's brick exterior.

"I started working here four years ago and I was a wreck," I started, looking up and down the street before crossing it and waiting for him to catch up to me. "I'd managed to royally screw up about three important appointments and came very close to having a panic attack when Carlisle asked me about them. I had to tell him everything then."

He pulled open the door to Jared's for me again and I waved at Quil to let him know that we were there before I walked over to a booth near the back and shrugged out of my jacket again. I sat down and waited for him to get situated before playing with my fingernails and sucking in a deep breath.

"He became a father figure to me," I said quietly. "He's been there for me and my brother – and my mother when necessary – since then."

"Huh," he nodded, tapping his fingertips against the polished brown tabletop. "That's really pretty cool of him."

"He's a pretty cool guy. So don't worry about our jobs." I cleared my throat and flattened my hands on my thighs. "I promise they're safe."

He nodded again.

"Has Tanya always been that way?"

I smirked and looked up at his shoulder, nodding.

"She doesn't like not getting her way. She's never really liked me."

"Why's that?"

I shrugged and laughed nervously, biting my bottom lip.

"I bring the worst out in people."

"I find that hard to believe," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You don't know me well enough yet."

"I'm trying to."

My shoulders dropped and I leaned into the table, resting my chest against the edge of it and pursing my lips.

"Why?"

"You seem…"

"Hey, Bella! Twice in one day!" Embry grinned as he appeared at the end of our table.

Oh, he has the worst timing ever. I'd been trying to figure out why Edward had been so damn interested in talking to me all damn week and when I'm finally getting an answer, we get interrupted.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Then he turned to Edward and his grin somehow managed to get a little wider. "Hey, Edward."

Edward laughed and nodded at him in greeting. I sat up straight and sighed quietly, shaking my head at the both of them.

"We just want food. After work; start of the weekend…" I shrugged at him, smiling. "And of course, I couldn't get enough of you the first time."

He threw his head back and laughed, hooking his thumbs into his apron pockets and rocking back on his heels.

"Naturally," he stated as he lifted his head and shrugged easily. "Your usual?"

I nodded, looking over at Edward to see that his eyebrows were pulled together and his lips were pursed in my direction.

"And for you, sir?" Embry asked, standing up straight and wiggling his hips a little.

I snorted at him and reached over to smack his side, rolling my eyes. He squealed in only the way that he could and jumped away from me, glaring at me before quickly turning his attention back to Edward.

"Uhm… whatever she's having," Edward nodded at him, clasping his hands together on the top of the table.

"Coffee for the both of you?"

"Yes," we said at the same time.

Embry looked between us with a raised eyebrow before nodding and turning on his heel, whistling to himself as he walked to another table. Edward reached over and grabbed the ketchup bottle, twirling it in his hands as he stared at it, his eyebrows still pulled together.

"You okay?" I asked tentatively, trying to figure out what I could've possibly done or said to make him upset.

"Yeah," he said slowly, staring hard at the ketchup bottle. "How long have you known him?"

"Four years. I met him when I started working for Carlisle."

He nodded, licking his lips.

"Why?" I asked just as slowly.

"I'm wondering how long it's going to take you to trust me, is all," he said quietly and I had to be imagining the small bit of… longing in his voice.

What was that all about?

"Why is it so important?"

"I don't know."

I pursed my lips and nodded once, tapping my fingertips against my thighs as I watched him slowly twirl the ketchup bottle around in front of him.

"That clears things up."

His lips twitched into a smirk and he sighed heavily, purposefully pushing the bottle away from him and nodding.

"Doesn't it?"

I licked my lips and took a deep breath, placing my hands flat on the table and staring down at my fingernails, bracing myself.

Don't do it, Bella. Don't give him anything he doesn't need to have.

His words kept ringing in my head – "…wondering how long it's going to take you to trust me" – and the way his voice had sounded…

He deserves something.

"Okay," I breathed, licking my lips again. "Everyone I get close to leaves." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes tightly, forcing even breaths in and out of my lungs. "Most people in my life don't stick around for long so I don't… I've stopped trusting most. I'm sure you will be no different."

My eyes snapped open when I felt his fingertips of one hand touching mine on the table, a shock flowing up my arm from the contact. I stared at our fingertips, pressed together on the brown tabletop and swallowed hard, pressing my lips together.

He had long fingers; probably perfect for playing the piano and guitar. His nails were short and surprisingly well kept. The veins crisscrossed against the back of his hand, standing out underneath his pale skin and disappearing at the wrist of his black sweater.

"I push everyone away," I said, my voice thick as I kept staring at our touching fingertips. "I don't mean to, but I guess I do. I can't… I'm not a good person, I'm not a good friend. You'll see that and you'll leave, too."

"You don't know that," he said softly and the tone of his voice – the caring and secure tone that I only heard from Carlisle, Emmett and my mother made me want to believe him.

But I wasn't delusional. I had my feet firmly planted on the ground and I knew that he'd be no different than anyone else. He'd get annoyed with me, tired of me, and before I realized it, he'd be gone too.

"Yes, I do."

He placed his pointer fingertip on mine, slowly applying pressure before dragging it down and off. I bit my bottom lip and swallowed hard, watching as he repeated the motion.

"You're real," he said quietly. "You don't sugar coat anything and for the most part, you've been up front and honest with me. I'm not asking for anything more than that."

"I can't give you more than that. This is me, Edward. This is all I've got left."

"Well," he started slowly, still dragging his fingertip up and down my nail, "I guess it's good that I didn't know you before, huh? I can't expect anything else if I don't know any better, can I?"

My mouth opened and closed and I blinked at our fingertips, swallowing hard as I tried to find some way to dispute that. The electric sparks shooting from his fingertips into mine weren't unwelcomed and the way he kept stroking my fingernail was soothing more than anything. I didn't understand it, but I wasn't wholeheartedly opposed to it, either. And I didn't understand that either.

"I'm not good enough," I managed, clearing my throat. "I'm not a good friend for you."

"Is that what we are? Friends?"

"We shouldn't be."

"And if I wanted us to be?"

"You'll regret it."

"I doubt that."

"You don't know…"

"And neither do you," he interrupted softly, still stroking my fingernail.

"It's happened before."

"We can make it different."

"It won't work."

"Are you scared?"

Terrified.

My eyes shot up to his and all I saw there was understanding. I swallowed hard and slowly dragged my hand away from his, leaning back in the booth and licking my lips. My arm tingled a bit from the aftershocks and I sucked in a deep breath.

"I don't have any guy friends anymore." I looked away from him, watching a couple across the room. "Jake's it. I'm not good at relationships with guys – friendly or otherwise."

"Then they didn't put enough effort into it."

I rolled my eyes and watched as the couple stood up over the table, their lips connecting over the napkin dispenser in the middle of the table, their hands holding tightly onto the edges of the table so that they didn't fall too far one way.

"It wasn't them," I said quietly, shaking my head.

"Bella, let me try."

I looked over at him again to see that he was completely serious. His lips weren't twitching into a poorly concealed mocking grin and his eyes weren't crinkling at the corners in an effort to hold in the laughter. He actually meant that.

"I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking to be your friend."

"I'll screw it up."

"I won't let you."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and looking back to the couple. They were sitting down now, their hands clasped together across the table and stupid looks of adoration lining their faces.

Morons.

"Bella, please let me try."

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I don't have many friends anymore either. And if we have to be alone, we should be alone together."

I looked back at him and raised an eyebrow, pursing my lips and watching as he grinned quickly at me, sitting up a little straighter on his side of the booth and tapping his fingertips against the tabletop.

"Agreed?" he asked brightly.

"There's something wrong with you," I grumbled.

"Yet, you keep hanging out with me."

"Not that you give me much of a choice in the matter," I smirked, pursing my lips at him.

"You're more than welcome to say no to me whenever you want," he stated, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest, pouting as he looked at the wall next to us.

I laughed at him and shook my head, watching as he grinned at the wall before turning to me again and letting his arms fall to his lap.

"But that's not what friends do, is it?" I asked quietly, sucking in a deep breath and flattening my hands on the tabletop again, watching as my fingertips turned white as I dug them into the surface.

"No," he said quietly and I looked up at him to see a very serene smile playing on his lips, "it's not."

I nodded once at him, taking another deep breath. I could do this. We could do this. He seemed damned and determined – for some reason that I don't think I'd ever fully understand – to be my friend. The worst that would happen was that I'd end up proving him right and he'd leave. And if I was already prepared for it, it wouldn't hurt nearly as badly as everyone before.

Back or Next