Nineteen

*Edward*

I was elbow-deep in soapy water, eyeing Bella as she stood next to me after a suspicious amount of water made its way onto the front of my shirt.  She was humming innocently as she meticulously washed off a dinner plate, her hips swinging side to side.

Dinner was over and after an interesting story about how Bella had smacked her face on the side of the microwave in an attempt to kick Emmett in the head, I'd somehow gotten roped into doing the dishes that couldn't fit into the dishwasher.  Bella, taking pity on me, had offered to help me and I'd been extremely thankful when I saw the pile that had accumulated there the minute everyone was out of their seats.

Dinner with everyone was an affair on its own.  Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Alice had shown up at the same time, Ben and Angela following shortly after.  The previously semi-quiet house quickly turned into a loud one, with everyone talking at once about everything that had happened in between the twelve or so hours that we hadn't seen or talked to each other.  I hadn't seen Bella so carefree or laugh as much as she had since I'd seen her with Emmett at the coffee house and I loved it.

I'd been easily included in all conversations, finally realizing that I knew these people.  I worked with them and just because I was now dating one of their own – their family member – didn't change the fact that I still saw them on a daily basis.  It was still slightly nerve-wracking to see Carlisle, Esme and Renee whispering to each other, looking over at me and clearly debating about whatever it was that parents thought when their daughter brought a new boy home, but it wasn't horrible.  Emmett kept me talking about the game that we'd watched, Jasper argued with him about whether or not the winning touchdown had been legal while Ben just shook his head and watched the three of us.  Alice, Angela and Bella talked about the Christmas Eve party that was underway, all of them having some sort of differing opinion about decorations and music choices.  I'd felt included and Bella's words about me being a part of their family were finally starting to make a little sense.

"Yes?" she asked slowly, looking over at me and poorly trying to fight off a grin.

"You got me wet."

"No."  She licked her lips and shook her head.  "You have that backwards."

"What are you talking about?  I've barely moved my…"

I blinked at her as she raised an eyebrow, grinning at me and gently bumping her hips against mine.  My mouth dropped open and my pants tightened simultaneously.  Did she really…?  Oh my fuck.

She wiggled her eyebrows at me and went back to washing her dish, carefully placing it in the drainer on the counter next to her.

Was this still my Bella?  It still looked like her, but she'd never said anything like that before.  Okay, yeah, our physical relationship had really just started, but I'd never pictured her saying…

Fuck, what was I complaining about?

"So," I managed, clearing my throat and going back to my own dish.  "How soon can we get out of here?"

Her hand brushed mine in the water and she linked our pinkies together.

"Soon, I hope."

I barely stifled a moan and squeezed her pinkie, forcing deep breaths in through my nose.  I gently tugged and she moved closer to me, sliding her hand completely into mine.

"Soon would be good," I breathed, nodding.

"Edward!" Renee exclaimed, walking into the kitchen with a covered container.  "Take a walk with me, would you?"

Erection: gone.

"What's that, mom?" Bella asked innocently, looking over her shoulder and squeezing my hand once.

"Chicken bones.  I'm babysitting Sam and you know how he likes to get into the garbage."

Bella shook her head, laughing and I looked over at her, confused.

"Neighbor's dog," Renee stated as she set the container on the counter and grabbed her coat, seeming to sense my confusion.  "Phil's got to work late tomorrow night and he asked me to watch him until he gets home.  I have to bury these so that he doesn't get in the garbage when I'm not looking and choke on them."  She bent down and pulled her shoes on, shaking her hair out of her face.  "I wouldn't want to kill the damn thing and I want to do this before it gets too dark out."

"Where's he off to this time?"

"Someplace up north."  She waved a hand absently at her side, shaking her head.  "His guys won something and they're up against… some other team up… there."

She pointed up to the ceiling and shrugged.

"It's good that you know, mom," Bella laughed, shaking her head.

"Isn't it?" she chirped brightly, grabbing the container from the counter and waiting for me.

I squeezed Bella's hand once more, swallowing hard before pulling my hands out of the water and grabbing a hand towel from the cabinet below the sink, quickly drying my hands and rolling my sleeves back down my arms.

"We'll be back soon!" Renee chirped, waiting for me to grab my coat and sling it over my shoulders.

She opened the door and I walked over to Bella again, kissing her quickly before shoving my hands in my pockets, ducking my head and walking up behind Renee.  The door slammed shut behind me and I swallowed hard.  Bella had been my safety net all damn night and now, I was walking away from it.  That hadn't been a part of the plan.  I was supposed to stay by her side and she was supposed to protect me from the questions I was sure her mother had for me.

"We just have to walk over the hill."  Renee pointed to a bunch of trees behind a shed at the edge of the driveway.  "Not too far."

"Okay," I replied, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"I'm sure you know there's a reason that I had you come with me," she started, looking over at me.

"I figured as much."

"Has Bella told you about her father?"

I nodded, shoving my hands into my pockets and hunching my shoulders, staring down at the ground as we walked.

"He didn't want her."

My head snapped up and I looked over at her, my eyes wide.

"He wanted a boy.  Wouldn't even hold her after she was born.  My brother had to throw her at him and pray that he caught her."  She breathed out a laugh and shook her head.  "I wanted to murder him."

"He didn't… he didn't want her?"

Renee shook her head, pressing her lips together and shaking her head.

"He wouldn't get up with her in the middle of the night or anything.  Said that he'd worked hard all day and was too tired to get up.  Because God knows I did nothing all day but take care of her; I was more than awake enough to get up."  She huffed out a breath and shook her head again.  "By the time Emmett was one, he decided that he didn't want to be a father anymore and he took off.  He didn't try to be in their lives and only showed up when they graduated high school or got a new job that would make him look good.  She resents him and prefers to not be associated with him."

"I don't blame her."

"He started her issues with men and she hasn't had such good luck so far."  She stopped, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop as well.  "I'm asking you now, Edward; are you serious about her?"

"Yes," I said automatically, nodding once.  "I'm not trying to fuck with her head or do anything to hurt her.  I just wanna be with her."

"You don't have an easy road ahead of you."

"No part of this has really been easy."

"Then why are you sticking around?"

Well, at least she didn't beat around the bush.

"She's the only one that makes me feel anything again."  I shrugged one shoulder uncomfortably, looking down at my feet.  "I can't really explain it."

"You have the patience of a saint," she said quietly.

I shrugged again, licking my lips and looking up at her.

"I don't really know what to say to you.  I don't know why I've stuck around through all of it.  I don't know why I stayed when I should've disappeared a while ago.  I just know that I feel something for your daughter that I never felt with my ex-fiancée and I'm in no hurry to lose it."

She tapped her fingertips against the side of the container in her hand, her lips pursed as she eyed me.  I kept my gaze locked with hers despite my raging heartbeat, fearing that I might've said something wrong and proved to Bella that I really could fuck up something like this easily.

"Okay," she said simply, nodding and squeezing my arm.

She turned and started in the direction she'd pointed at before, leaving me gaping behind her.

"Come on!" she exclaimed, laughing as she reached the edge of the shed and turned back to me.  "You can dig the hole."

"You aren't going to threaten me or anything?" I asked, slowly starting back towards her.

I figured that I'd get some kind of lecture and expected to be asked fifteen thousand questions about what my intentions were towards her daughter.  She had to be father and mother to both of her children for the majority of their lives and I just expected… more.  Not that I was complaining about that, either.  She already made me nervous – she was one of the most important and influential people in Bella's life – and I was expecting some grand ass ripping from her the minute we were alone.  I wasn't entirely sure what to do now that I realized it wasn't going to happen.

She laughed and shook her head, shrugging as she hugged the container to her chest.

"You haven't given me a reason not to trust you.  Bella obviously does."  She nodded towards the house, a small smile playing on her lips.  "That's good enough for me."

"Thank you, Renee," I said quietly as I walked up next to her.

"You're welcome, Edward."  She dug around in her coat pocket, producing a garden shovel and handing it to me.  "Let's get to it, shall we?"

I smirked and nodded, taking the shovel from her and walking with her again.  We talked idly about everything – she predicted that there would be a huge snowstorm by the end of the week because her knee was killing her.  After my completely baffled look, she explained that she'd been thrown from her horse when she was sixteen and had to have it completely reworked.  When the weather changed, she knew about it more than anyone else did.

When the bones were sufficiently covered underneath dirt and leaves, we started back towards the house.  I watched as the door opened and immediately smiled when I saw Bella walk out on the porch, leaning on the railing and smirking at me.

"That's why you weren't threatened," Renee said quietly into my ear before we reached the porch.  "Dessert?"

"Nah," Bella smiled, her eyes still on me as she shook her head.  "I think we're gonna get going, mom."

Renee hummed, walking up the steps and slapping Bella's ass before pushing open the door.  Bella laughed and looked over her shoulder, wiggling her ass at her mother's retreating back.

"Did you tell everyone goodbye yet?"

"We'll be in soon."

She hummed again, looking over her shoulder and pursing her lips before closing the door behind her.  I laughed at them and walked to the bottom step, setting the garden shovel off to the side and looking up at her.  She grinned down at me, propping her chin on her fist.

"She's not so bad, huh?"

"A lot like you," I stated, nodding.

"What'd you talk about?"

"You.  Your father."

She stood up straight immediately, her hands falling to the railing as she pursed her lips and tilted her head back slightly.

"Oh?"

I stepped over the small line of rocks that was meant to be a garden fence of sorts, praying that Renee didn't have any plants that I'd be killing when she wanted them to pop up again in spring, and reached up to grab her hands.  She stiffly linked her fingers with mine, her entire body obviously tense.

"You already told me, Bella," I said softly.

"She told you more."

"Yes."

I watched her face transform from the stone it had been to one of pure and absolute pain and regret that I didn't understand.  Just as quickly as I'd seen it, it was gone and she was shaking her head with her eyes closed.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked quietly.

I kept my grip on her hand as I walked out of the garden and up the steps, standing in front of her and gently pressing her against the railing.  Her eyes slowly opened to me and I leaned down, resting my forehead against hers.

"I want you," I whispered.

"Then we should get going."

Her voice was low and even slightly detached, her eyes dull and the complete opposite of what they should be when she said a sentence like that.

"No."  I closed my eyes and huffed out a breath, smirking.  That hadn't really worked the way I wanted it to.  "He didn't want you.  I do."

I opened my eyes and looked directly into hers.  She was just staring and blinking slowly at me, her breathing starting to pick up.

Too much.  Christ, Masen, too much.

"I just… that's what… I don't want you to…"

"Shut up," she breathed finally, her hand squeezing mine tightly.

I snapped my mouth shut and bit the inside of my cheek, swallowing hard.

You need to learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes, moron.

She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut, her chest starting to heave against mine and her grip tightening on my hand.  I kept watching her, keeping my eyes connected with hers and doing my best to wait patiently as she continued to stare back at me.  She finally closed her eyes and pressed her lips together tightly, shaking her head.

"No one's ever…"  She shook her head again, her tongue coming out to lick her bottom lip.  "You are the first person," she started, whispering, "to ever say that to me."

"Is that bad?" I whispered back, reaching up with my free hand to place it on her cheek.

Her lips quirked up into a smirk and she shook her head once more, finally opening her eyes.

"I don't know."  She breathed out a laugh, leaning her head against my hand.  "But I fucking love it."

I grinned and leaned in, kissing her softly.  She shook her hand from mine, stepping up on her toes and wrapping her arms around my neck.  I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her against me and letting a breathy moan escape as she purposely rolled her hips against mine.

It was absolutely amazing how easily she could turn me on after I just spent fifteen minutes with her mother.

"I want all of you, Bella," I whispered, breaking away from her to trail my lips down to her neck.  "Every single part of you; including the crazy parts.  I want it."

Her hands moved up to my hair, her fingers threading in through the strands as she let her head roll back on her shoulders.  I kissed around to her throat, trailing my lips up and onto her chin.

"We should go," she managed, pulling her head back up and connecting her lips to mine again.

"Mhmm," I hummed, opening my mouth and tracing her top lip with my tongue.

"Come on," she breathed, pulling away from me.  "We need to say goodbye."

I pouted and huffed, kissing her once more before stepping back from her and grabbing her hand again.  She walked in front of me, pushing open the door and leading us into the kitchen.

"Do you mind if we stop at my place real quick?"

"For what?"

"I need clothes."

"Nah," I smiled, shaking my head.  "Just stay home with me tomorrow and we'll be naked all day."

She laughed, throwing her head back and squeezing my hand as we walked into the dining room.

"Not gonna happen."

I sighed dramatically and followed her into the living room where everyone had convened after dinner was over.  They all looked up at us, their conversations immediately dying out and I swallowed nervously.

That wasn't obvious at all.

"We're gonna get going," Bella announced, squeezing my hand.

Renee was the first one out of her seat, her arms around Bella tightly.  I stepped back from them, my hand slowly drifting out of Bella's grasp as I watched everyone say goodbye to her.  Emmett reminded me about looking at a bike tomorrow and I told him that I remembered, laughing as Renee rolled her eyes and slapped him on the back of the head for reasons that I don't think I'd fully understand.  Alice said something about coming over early to help decorate for the Christmas Eve party – which I realized was only a week away – and Bella nodded, sighing heavily.  I smirked and stifled a laugh when Emmett snorted and mentioned something about Bella having better luck with wrapping herself in lights than hanging them up on the wall.  And when Bella told him that he was getting coal as his Christmas gift, it was pretty damn impossible not to laugh.

It took us twenty minutes to get out of the house without someone shouting something else that spurred us all into another conversation.  We finally made it out of the house and I dug around in my jacket pocket for my keys, watching Bella out of the corner of my eye as she sashayed her way to the passenger side of the car.  The way her hips swayed as she did so had my mouth watering and my pants getting that much tighter around my hips.  I walked up behind her, turning her around and pinning her against the door of the car, my keys uncomfortably digging into my palm.  She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows at me, tilting her head to the side.

"Yes?"

"You're doing this shit on purpose, aren't you?" I breathed, leaning in and trailing my lips along the edge of her jaw.

"Doing what?" she asked innocently, her hands maddeningly staying at her sides.

"You know what."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Edward."

"Oh, no?" I mumbled against her skin, trailing my lips up to her ear.

"Nope."

I pushed my hips against hers and grinned into her skin when I heard her sharp intake of breath.

"Liar," I whispered, pulling the bottom of her ear into my mouth.

She hummed, her hands finally coming up and resting on my chest, her fingers curling into my shirt as she tilted her head to the side.

"Are you two actually gonna leave sometime soon or just spend the night standing outside?"

I quickly backed away and looked up at the porch to see Ben and Angela standing there, shit-eating grins clearly visible on their faces even in the fast-approaching darkness.

"Go Bella, go Bella," Angela chanted, swaying her hips from side-to-side.

"Bella?  Hell, it looked like it was all Edward!"

"Oh good Christ," Bella laughed, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands.

"Bella started it!" I exclaimed.

She laughed loudly and dropped her hands from her face when I turned to look at her.

"You didn't seem to mind!" she exclaimed.

"I wasn't complaining," I said simply, nodding my head at her once.  "Just stating a fact."

"Ass," she mumbled, playfully narrowing an eye at me.

"You don't seem to mind it much."

"Emmett's right," Ben laughed, suddenly next to us.  "You two are sickening."

"How many times has he said that today?" Bella laughed, shaking her head.

"At least a hundred," Angela chirped, smiling brightly.  "See you guys tomorrow."

We nodded, once again saying goodbye and watching as they got into their car.

"So… your place?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Just for clothes."  She stepped up to me, pressing her chest to mine and licking her bottom lip.  My fucking knees almost buckled.  "Then to yours."

I nodded frantically, swallowing hard and moaning softly as she dragged her hand firmly over the front of my jeans.

Fuck, I really liked it when she was like this.

"Yeah," I breathed, reaching behind her and yanking on the door handle.

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion when it didn't open and Bella laughed.  I pursed my lips at her and brought my keys up, forcefully pressing down on the unlock button and listening to the locks flip.

"Flustered?" she asked innocently.

I jumped when the horn of Ben's car sounded before they drove off down the road and she laughed at me again.

"Jumpy, too."

"Your fault," I grumbled, finally able to pull her door open for her.

"I'll be sure to keep my hands to myself, then."

She turned on her heel and I grabbed her around the waist, yanking her back to me and forcefully pressing my mouth on hers.

"Never," I mumbled, squeezing her waist before letting her go.  "Feel free to touch as much as you want to."

"Hm," she hummed, turning to get in the car.

She paused and her eyes raked over me, her bottom lip in between her teeth.  Every ounce of blood that might have been left in my brain immediately found its way to my groin.

"I'll remember that," she said simply before climbing in the car.

I shut the door automatically, damn near sprinting around to my side and flinging the door open.  I barely remembered starting the car or pulling out of the driveway.  It was even worse when Bella placed her hand on my thigh, slowly inching it up to where I needed her most.

She purposely kept her hand away from me for the entire ride, trailing it up and down my thigh as I drove as quickly as possible to her apartment complex.  I parked haphazardly in the spot her car was usually in and quickly unbuckled my seatbelt.  Before I could even comprehend anything, she was crawling over the center console and sliding into my lap, her hands in my hair and her lips on mine.  I moaned loudly, reaching up to run my hands up and down her forearms, opening my mouth to hers.  Her tongue quickly met mine and she rocked against me once, hissing as she hit her knee on the center console.

We were in my car.  In front of her apartment.  About to do something that would be a fuck ton easier in the bed hiding behind her front door.

"Bella," I breathed, pulling back from her and resting my hands on her hips.

She merely hummed at me and began kissing my neck, her hips slowly starting to move over mine.

"Bella, your apartment…"

"Ever christened the car, Edward?"

She fucking purred into my ear.  Purred.  Like a cat.  Like a very satisfied fucking cat who'd just eaten the proverbial goddamned canary.

It did insane things to me.

I huffed out a shaky breath and nodded, resting my head back against the seat.

"Yes."

"Oh."  I felt her lips purse more than normal against the skin on my neck before her tongue darted out and my eyes rolled into the back of my head.  "Well… we can make it better."

I laughed nervously, my fingertips digging into her hips as she dropped her hands from my hair, dragged them down my chest and easily slipped them underneath my shirt.

"Bella… we are ten feet from…"

"I want you here… like this," she whispered into my ear, dragging her fingernails across my stomach.

What in the fuck was I complaining about?  My girlfriend wanted me in the driver's seat of my car and I was trying to convince her to go inside?  There was something very wrong with me.

I lifted my head from the seat and opened my eyes, my hands trailing up under her shirt when movement on her doorstep caught my eye.

"There's someone on your front step," I said, my arms immediately around her waist and crushing her against me in some sort of caveman-like gesture of protection.

"Fuck 'em," she mumbled, her hands on the button of my jeans.

"No, Bella, seriously," I laughed, moving my arms to grab her hands and still their motions.

Every inch of me groaned at the loss of her touch and I sighed heavily, shaking my head once.  She huffed and turned slightly on my lap, her fingers curling around mine.

"Fuck," I hissed, my hips automatically lifting against hers.

"You wanted me to… oh my fuck," she breathed.

I felt every inch of her tense up and I was immediately on alert, narrowing my eyes at the dark figure hunched over on her step.

"What?  Do you know them?  Who is it?" I asked, leaning forward to look over her shoulder in a vain attempt at making out the person's face.

"It's Jake," she mumbled, turning back to look at me.

Her bottom lip was in her mouth and I narrowed my eyes, scowling.  I didn't like this shit; sitting on her goddamned front step and waiting for her like some fucking stalker wasn't anything I really fucking liked.

And what pissed me off even more was that he had the ability to ruin the entire night by just being there.  The last thing Bella had on her mind now was me and that on its own pissed me off.  Coupled with the fact that she'd jump through hoops for him no matter what he said to her or how he hurt her and I was ready to rip his throat out.  Everything had been going really damn well and now… now it was all shot to hell.

"How do you know it's him?"

"I just… I know it's him, Edward."

"How?"

"I've known him for five years.  I know him," she said softly.

"So what are we gonna do?" I asked after a few moments of silence, grinding my teeth together.

"You're gonna stay here and I'm going to see what he wants."

"I'm not staying here," I laughed sarcastically, shaking my head.  "No fucking way."

"Edward, if he just wants…"

"Boyfriend."  I pointed at myself and raised an eyebrow at her.  "Who hasn't met this asshole that had you all torn up."

"He's not… Edward, if you're going to insist on meeting him, you can't be a jackass."

I stared at her and she stared back, sitting up straight in my lap and raising an expectant eyebrow.

"Fine.  I'll be as nice as possible."

"Thank you," she said coolly, nodding her head once.

"You're welcome," I replied in the same tone, cocking an eyebrow at her and pushing open my door.

She huffed at me before crawling over me and stepping out of the car, running her hands through her hair before turning and walking towards her front door without even waiting for me.  I growled quietly at her back before I grabbed her neglected purse – it had been in the car ever since we left my apartment – and climbed out of the car, grumbling to myself.  I slammed the door a little harder than necessary before looking up to see that Jake was standing, his hands in his hair as he hovered over her.

My eyes narrowed as I forced myself to calmly walk up the pathway.

"I just wanna talk to you, Bells.  We need to get a few things out in the air."

"I've got plans for tonight," she said quietly.  "Can we do it some other time?"

"Apparently you've got plans every night, Bella.  Do you ever turn your damn phone on anymore?"

"I've… Jake," she sighed heavily, reaching up to rub her forehead.

"Here, Bella," I said quietly, handing her purse to her and placing my hand on the small of her back.

Jake looked up at me, his eyes narrowed as he shoved his hands in his pockets while Bella took her purse from me.

"Something you need?" he growled.

"Jake," Bella hissed, reaching out and smacking his shoulder with her free hand.  "Enough."

"I'm Edward Masen," I said, forcing myself to be civil.  "Bella's boyfriend."

His eyes widened and snapped to her.

"What?"

"You haven't been around," she sighed, throwing one hand in the air.

"This is pretty fucking big, Bella!"

She stared at him and I watched her, my jaw clenched as I wondered why in the fuck she had to defend herself to this asshole and why she was just standing here and letting him fucking talk to her this way.

"I'm not apologizing," she said firmly, squaring her shoulders.  "I needed time, you gave it to me and I appreciate that but it's not like I was going to sit around the whole time."  She reached behind her and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together and pulling my arm around her waist.  "Edward is the only thing in my life right now that makes any sense.  You accept that or there's no reason for you to be here anymore."

He looked between the two of us, his nostrils flaring before he huffed and his shoulders slumped.  He turned to me, his eyes still slightly narrowed and I tightened my hold around Bella's waist.

"Nice to meet you," he grumbled.

"You too," I grumbled back.

"Where's Jean?" Bella asked quietly.

"At home."  He turned back to her and sighed, his eyes softening as he looked at her.  "I would really like to talk to you, Bella."

She looked up at me and I sighed, shrugging and trying to offer her some sort of a smile.  I didn't like it, didn't want to leave her here with him, but I didn't have much of a choice.  She still considered him her best friend and they needed to work this out before things got too much worse between them.  Just because I knew that and could understand why this needed to happen now didn't mean that I liked it any more than I'd liked it when she flew out of the car.

She smiled weakly back at me before turning back to Jake and handing him her purse.

"My keys are in there.  I'll be in soon."

He nodded, taking her purse and easily unzipping the top to find her keys.  We both watched as he unlocked her front door and walked in, flipping on lights before closing the door behind him.  I stared at the closed door, my eyebrows pulled together as I wondered why he seemed so nonchalant about digging around in her purse.

She turned to me completely, her arms wrapping around my waist and her face buried in my chest.  I sighed heavily and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, burying my nose in the top of her head as I held on tightly.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't apologize.  You need to work it out with him."

I hated that.  I hated saying it.  I hated even thinking it, but it was the truth.  I knew what I'd felt like when I finally realized that I had no one to talk to after I'd found Lauren and Tyler together and if she could avoid having to feel anything close to that, I wasn't going to be the asshole that stood in her way.

"But we were…"

"He's your best friend, Bella."  I kissed the top of her head.  "You need to work it out."

She hummed and turned her head, pressing a soft kiss against the bottom of my chin.

"You can't do that," I laughed nervously, backing away slightly.

She grinned and stepped up on her toes, her lips softly against mine.  I pulled her tight against me, dragging my hands up and down her back before she stepped away from me.

"You still have all my bags from the other day in your car, don't you?"

I nodded, brushing the end of my nose against hers before kissing her again.

"You want them?"

"Yeah.  I'm thinking that the glasses I got my mom for Christmas might not survive another night in the cold."

I laughed softly and kissed her once more before unwinding my arms from her shoulders and stepping back.  I grabbed her hand and led her back towards the car, pulling open the back door.  I let go of her hand and grabbed all the bags, nodding towards the front door of her apartment when she protested.

"I'm perfectly capable of bringing those in."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," I said easily, nudging her with my elbow and nodding towards her front door again.  "But I want to do this for you.  Accept it and get moving."

She huffed and pouted before turning on her heel and walking towards the front door.  I smirked at the back of her head and followed her, setting the bags just inside as she opened it.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning," I said softly, looking around for Jacob as I stood on the front step.

What'd he do; disappear?  Not that I'd be complaining about that…

"I need to actually bring my car back here tomorrow night so… yeah," she laughed quietly, running a hand through her hair.

"Call me if you need anything, all right?"  I stepped up to her, threading my hands through her hair and resting my thumbs on her neck.  "I don't care what time it is."

She nodded, her hands coming up to rest on my arms as she sighed.

"Gonna miss you," she mumbled quietly.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest and I grinned, leaning down and gently touching my lips to hers.

"I'm gonna miss you too," I whispered as I pulled away from her.

She smiled and huffed, nodding once before squeezing my wrists.  I dropped my hands from her hair and kissed her once more.

"See you tomorrow morning."

She nodded and bit her bottom lip, grabbing the edge of the door and leaning against it.  I smirked at her and turned, shoving my hands in my pockets and sighing heavily as I started down the path towards my car.  I climbed in, watching as she waved at me and closed the door before I started the car and backed out of the parking space.

I made it back to my apartment twenty minutes later, climbed out of my car and started up the walkway, jiggling my keys in the palm of my hand and dragging my feet to the front door.  I half-heartedly pushed through the door to my apartment and stepped inside, slamming the door shut behind me as I reached over and flipped on the lights.

I slowly looked around my empty, silent apartment and pursed my lips, twisting them to the side before toeing off my shoes and peeling my coat from my shoulders.  I hung it up and stuffed my keys in the pocket, slowly walking into the kitchen and staring at the counters.

Fuck.

I missed her already.  I'd just left her and I missed her already.  I was either already whipped beyond comparison or that much of a complete loser.

Everything just felt… empty.  I don't know when the hell she'd become the one to fill all the holes in my life because I sure as hell never really wanted to depend on anyone like that ever again, but it was the truth.  My apartment was completely devoid of anything and everything I'd originally thought it stood for without her.

It fucking terrified me beyond what words could possibly say and I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to do about it.

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