Four

*Bella*

I watched Edward out of the corner of my eye as I turned around to grab a pen from Alice's wire mesh holder – even though I had more than enough sitting right in front of me – and blew out a quiet, shaky breath.

It was the end of the day and he was back in Angela's seat, studiously working on the files that he needed to have finished before the next morning while I sat here and demanded my nerves to relax.

I'd been on edge all day. Alice and Angela had thankfully not asked me about it – probably just figuring it was one of my moods and Carlisle had been too busy to do more than stop in for a few seconds to greet everyone before patients started pouring into the waiting room.

Apparently, today was the day that every young child in Forks decided to come down with a cold. Esme's design crew had decided that today would be as good as any other to do some actual work on his office and it had been noisy as fuck in the hallway all damn day. It had been an absolutely insane day altogether. Angela and I had even had to run across the street to get lunch because there was absolutely no way that we'd be able to take an hour away from the phones and walk-ins.

I have to say, it was rather nice not spending the entire hour by myself. I'd been eating at my desk since Edward showed up and I had almost forgotten how much I actually missed having other people around to talk to if I'd felt so inclined to do so.

From the glimpses I allowed myself of Edward, even he looked exhausted and slightly annoyed. From what I'd overheard Angela and Alice talking about, Tanya hadn't let up on him since he walked in the door. She was definitely persistent when she wanted to be.

Maybe he doesn't want to go for coffee after work anymore. Maybe he's tired of you, too.

I licked my lips, tapping the end of the pen against the appointment book in front of me and swallowing hard.

It didn't matter. It shouldn't matter.

And while yesterday had been awkward and I'd said more than I really wanted to, it was nice getting out and talking to someone who didn't already know everything. I didn't have to go back to my apartment and sit around until it was late enough that I could go to bed and wait for the next morning. I wasn't waiting for the phone to ring, hearing Jake rambling on about some new adventure that he and Jean were going on that didn't involve me.

I'd had something to do. Something that didn't revolve around my best friend slowly pushing me out of his life.

Granted, I'd pushed myself in Edward's car the minute Jake had left and he was probably just taking me to be polite, but at least he'd taken me somewhere. He hadn't demanded that I get out of his car and look at me with disgust when I would've undoubtedly burst into tears.

After all, there's only so much rejection and half-assed apologies I could deal with in one day.

"We don't," I started, forced to clear my throat when my voice came out rough, "we don't have to go tonight."

"Huh? Go where?" he asked, obviously trying to stifle a yawn.

My stomach fell and I closed my eyes tightly, frantically tapping the pen against the appointment book and taking a deep breath through my nose.

He was tired. He'd had a busy day and he'd forgotten about our coffee proposition from last night.

You're not even memorable enough to keep him interested in something that he asked you not even twenty-four hours ago.

"Nevermind," I managed, my leg jiggling up and down nervously as I began to clear up the space on my desk.

I needed to go. It was stupid of me to be worried about this all fucking day. He obviously didn't want to and there was no reason that I should've brought it up. He probably just felt bad for me yesterday, knowing what had happened between Jake and me.

I felt like an ass for telling him anything. I knew better than to do that. What the hell had I been thinking?

Christ, Bella, you're such an idiot.

"Oh! Oh, shit! Bella, I…"

"It's fine," I said quietly, shaking my head as I quickly shut down my computer and began to stand up. "You had a long day."

"No, Bella… well, yes, okay, I did but I-"

"It's okay," I laughed nervously, grabbing my purse from the floor and setting it on the counter. "I'll just see you tomorrow, right?"

"Don't leave?" he asked quickly. "Please? Tanya will probably be here soon…"

I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip, swallowing hard. Right. Tanya would be coming in soon, I'm sure, in an attempt to get him to go out with her and he needed me to save him from her.

That's all you're good for, after all.

"Right," I whispered, nodding and plopping back down into my chair, opening my eyes again and staring straight ahead.

Fuck, I needed a cigarette.

"I didn't forget," he offered hopefully. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

The least of which is making me feel like I have an actual life again.

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm buying, right? That was the deal?"

"You don't have to, Edward," I mumbled, shaking my head as I brought my elbows up to rest on the desk and cradle my head in my hands. "I know you're tired."

"Which just means that I need the coffee, right?"

"Are you doing anything after work that warrants the need for coffee?"

He was quiet and I rubbed my hands over my face, jiggling both of my legs up and down underneath the counter.

"We can go to dinner or something," he offered again.

"Don't," I said quietly. "It's fine. Another time."

Where in the fuck was Tanya when I needed her? Any other time, she's bursting in here with all of her inappropriate scrubs and craziness and today; nothing.

"Bella…"

"Edward, it's fine, all right?" I asked, standing up and starting towards the door. "Don't worry about it."

I walked into the lobby and popped the lock on the cabinet, grabbing the disinfectant and starting to spray down all the toys in the corner.

It wasn't a big deal. It didn't matter. He did a hell of a lot more than I did today so it was normal for him to be tired and not remember something insignificant like a non-trusting coffee meeting with a girl that he worked with.

"Bella…"

I turned on my heel to see his head poking out of the sliding window in front of Alice's space, his cheek resting on the counter on the side in the waiting room with his bottom lip pouting out and his eyes wide, innocent and directed at me.

I raised an eyebrow at him, crossing one arm over my waist and letting my other hand fall to my side, the disinfectant smacking against my knee.

"What are you doing?"

He turned his head, resting his chin on the counter as he sighed.

"Come for coffee with me?"

"It's not a big deal, Edward." I brushed him off and turned around again, spraying down the chairs as I walked by them. "You've had a rough day."

"And I'd like to make it better by going to get coffee with you."

"Who says I'd make it better?"

"I do."

"You don't know me well enough to make that assumption."

"And you don't know me well enough to assume I don't need coffee no matter what time of day it is."

I rolled my eyes as I threw a coloring book onto one of the tables in the corner, gritting my teeth together.

He just wants coffee, Bella. This has nothing at all to do with you.

"So what do you need me there for?"

"Company."

"I'm sure Tanya would love to join you."

"Do you dislike me that much, Bella?" he gasped.

I looked over my shoulder at him to see that he was standing up straight with a hand over his heart, a look of horror and disgust on his face and his mouth hanging open.

"I'm just stating a fact," I said simply, looking down at the mound of outdated magazines and forcing my lips to stop twitching.

All right, that move was rather amusing.

"I like all of my junk being not itchy, thank you very much," he huffed.

I couldn't help it as I laughed, leaning against the table with the magazines and looking back at him. He was grinning at me and shrugging his shoulders, his fingertips tapping out a rhythm on his chest.

"Well, I don't!" he exclaimed.

"Good to know," I laughed, shaking my head as I stood up straight again.

"You'll come with me?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip and sighing, giving in. He grinned at me again, actually bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

"Great! Let me just…"

"Edward!" Tanya screeched, appearing in the doorway of the office out of nowhere.

When I needed her; nothing. When I want nothing more than to get out of here without seeing her one more time, there she fucking is.

I watched his grin falter as he slowly turned on his heels and faced her. She was wearing Scooby Doo scrubs today and the way Scooby was stretched across her breasts was obscene. Especially since his tongue was hanging out.

Christ, I wished Carlisle would say something to her about those damn things already. At least make her buy the correct size to begin with. She was good with the kids, I could give her that, but I wished to holy hell that she'd learn how to deal with adults; specifically male adults.

"Hi, Tanya," he said through his teeth, forcing a smile on his face.

Poor bastard.

I quickly put the disinfectant back in the cabinet, locked it and grabbed our coats from the pegs, sliding mine on over my shoulders.

"I'm having this dinner party," I could hear Tanya purr as I walked through the door leading to the hallway, "and I was wondering if you'd wanna come? It's tomorrow night right after work. You could meet all of my friends!"

"Sorry, Tanya," I said easily, squeezing by her and walking over to Edward to hand him his coat, "we've got plans for tomorrow night."

"Is there something wrong with you?" she demanded, staring at Edward through narrowed eyes.

"Excuse me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he took his coat from me.

"She's… there's… she's a wretched bitch!" Tanya exclaimed, pointing at me as I grabbed my purse. "She's probably just using you!"

"Yes, Tanya," I sighed, tilting my head at her as I slung my purse over my shoulder, "I'm using him. He knows this. He's okay with this. Let it go."

She sputtered, throwing her hands in the air and shaking her head.

"You're okay with this?" she screeched.

Edward shrugged, pulling his coat on before turning to grab his files and shove them in his briefcase.

"I'm not opposed to it."

"There's something wrong with the both of you!" she screeched again before storming out of the office and back down the hallway. "I'll tell Carlisle about this! He won't approve!"

Edward's head snapped in my direction and I waved him off, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Carlisle knows better," I said quietly, nervous again now that I was back in the same room with him and we were alone. "Don't worry about it."

He nodded slowly, clipping the snaps on his briefcase closed and standing up straight. I turned on my heel, leading the way down the hallway and out of the office altogether, listening to his footsteps behind me.

"Did you want to ride with me again?"

"I can drive," I said quietly, swallowing hard and nodding. I hated to drive; absolutely fucking hated it. If I didn't need to in order to get to work in the morning, I'd walk my ass everywhere. "This way you don't have to come back here and drop me off."

"I don't mind."

"It's probably out of your way…"

"It's really not." He stepped up to me, jiggling his keys in his hand as we stood awkwardly in the middle of the parking lot. "I live in the Heights. I have to go back by here anyway."

My face fell. Of course he'd live in the most expensive, ritzy apartments in all of Forks. Why the hell wouldn't he?

He's too good for you. You're kidding yourself if you think you could ever fit into his life.

I shook my head and reached around, clasping my right wrist in my hand and dragging my thumb up and down as I looked over to his car.

I didn't want to fit into his life. Not like that. Coffee after work was a long ways away from fitting into someone else's life as a permanent fixture.

I felt my face pale.

Did I want that? When had the words permanent fixture even become an option in my brain?

"Bella? Are you all right?"

My eyes snapped to his face and I swallowed hard, reaching up with my hands to rub my face and nod.

"Yeah, fine," I managed, taking a few deep breaths. "I was just… I was thinking."

"Care to share?" he asked casually as he took a step towards his car.

"No," I snorted, dropping my hands and slowly following him. "Do you mind giving me a ride?"

"Would I have offered if I didn't?"

"I don't know. Would you have?" I shot back, raising an eyebrow at his retreating back.

He threw his keys up in the air before catching them and looking over his shoulder at me, smirking and shaking his head.

"Not a chance, Bella. Now get in the car."

I listened as the locks flipped before we even reached it and pursed my lips. Damn expensive, nice car with its automatic locks, windows and fancy remote. Probably cost him more than my entire life was even worth.

Yet another reason why being anything more than the girl he took pity on and went for coffee with was completely absurd.

"Do you remember how to get there?"

He nodded before pulling open the driver's side door and sinking down into the seat. I pursed my lips and huffed, grabbing the door handle and plopping myself into the seat, setting my purse in my lap. I pulled my door closed, staring straight ahead at our building as he started the car and pulled out of his parking space.

"So are you all caught up on your hours?"

I nodded, looking down and fidgeting with my purse strap.

"Yeah. Today was the last day that I needed to stay late."

"So you won't be staying late tomorrow night," he mused quietly.

"No. But Tanya will probably leave right on time to get to her dinner party. You'll have nothing to worry about."

"You said that we were doing something tomorrow night, though," he stated lightly, tapping his fingertips against the steering wheel as he pulled into traffic and started in the direction of the coffee house.

I spared a glance over at him, one eyebrow raised before I went back to tugging on my purse strap.

"Did you want to meet all her friends?"

"Fuck no."

"I was your excuse, Edward," I said quietly, sighing and slapping my hands on my purse to keep them still. "And really, we don't need to go for coffee. I know that you're tired and that it's been a rough day…"

"How many more times am I going to have to tell you that I want to go?" he sighed, clearly frustrated.

I bit my bottom lip and went back to playing with my purse strap, awkwardly shifting in the leather seat.

Good job, Bella. Frustrate him so that he never wants to talk to you again.

"Sorry," I said softly.

He hummed in response and I kept my eyes on my lap, my bottom lip in between my teeth and my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

We rode the rest of the way in silence and I berated myself the whole time, warding off pointless tears at the thought of yet another rejection and chasing yet another guy away from me.

Well, fuck, I had perfected it at this point. Why should I feel so damn surprised that it had only taken three days this time?

I quickly pushed out of the door as soon as he stopped and waited at the front of the car with my head down as he walked up next to me, shoving his keys into his jacket pocket. I followed behind him as we walked into the shop and stood behind him in line, swallowing hard and taking deep breaths in an attempt to steady… everything about me. I'd need to order and I couldn't be on the verge of tears when I did it.

"What do you want?" he asked gruffly, turning to me.

"I can get it," I all but whispered, stuffing my shaking hand in my purse and searching for my wallet.

"I said I'd get it today, Bella. Just tell me what you want."

"Carmel coffee, cream and three sugars," I managed, swallowing hard and slowly pushing my purse onto my shoulder.

"Go find a table," he grumbled and I watched his feet as he turned his back on me.

I sniffled and looked up a little through my hair, weaving in between the people that never cared enough to look up before I found an empty table in the back in a corner. I shrugged my purse off my shoulder and set it on the table, pulling my coat off and hanging it on the back of the chair before climbing into it and resting my hands in my lap. I twisted my fingers together, biting down hard on my bottom lip again as it trembled.

Why was I such an idiot all the damn time? How did I always do this?

Failure.

I slapped a hand over my mouth when I felt the sob building up in the back of my throat and forced myself to take deep, even breaths even as I felt a few tears trail down my cheeks and stop at my hand.

God, I just wanted to go home. I never should've reminded him that we had plans tonight. I should've just gone home and waited for the phone to ring like I always did. I wouldn't have had the chance to piss anyone else off if I'd done just that.

I jumped, whimpering at an embarrassingly loud level when the chair in front of me scraped against the stone floor. I quickly tried to subtly wipe the tears off my cheeks before lifting my head slightly and staring at the coffee cup I hadn't realized Edward had put there.

"Thank you," I said, humiliated at the way my voice shook and broke.

"Sure. Owed it to you."

I immediately looked down at my lap again, my bottom lip back between my teeth. He was just here to pay what he thought was a debt to me. He wasn't here because he wanted to be.

Who in their right mind would actually want to be here with me anyway?

"Have you talked to Jake at all today?"

I shook my head, twisting my fingers around each other.

"He hasn't called you since you saw him yesterday? At all?"

I shook my head again, releasing my bottom lip from my teeth and sucking in a shaky breath.

"Hey, Bella… are you okay?" he asked, his voice quiet and closer as he leaned in.

"Fine," I choked out, my breath hitching in my chest.

Fuck. Perfect. No hiding from that. Now he'd just think that I was this pathetic blob who burst into tears at every little thing that he did – or, in this case, didn't – say.

I should've just fucking gone home.

"Hey, what happened? What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean to…" I took another deep breath and twisted my fingers in different directions, swallowing hard. "I didn't mean to frustrate you or upset you. I just… I don't want you to do anything with me if you really don't want to. I'm sorry."

"Bella, will you look at me?" he asked, his voice soft.

I huffed out a breath and reached up to wipe underneath my eyes, looking up and directly at the end of his nose.

"It's been a really long day."

"I know and I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…"

"I'm a moody bastard, Bella. It didn't even have much to do with you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I mumbled, feeling like a complete ass.

If I hadn't scared him away before, I most definitely had now. What man sticks around after a girl sits across a table from him doing her best not to make a fool out of herself while crying?

"Are you going to break up with me again?"

I focused in on his face instead of just his nose and saw a smirk on his lips. I snorted – it came out more as a watery sniffle than anything – and knuckled away the tears under my eyes, nodding.

"Yes. We're over. Completely done. I can't stand the sight of you any longer."

He threw his head back and laughed loudly, garnering the attention of, oh, everyone. My cheeks burned, but I laughed with him, sniffling a little as I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table.

I liked his laugh. It was deep and only slightly obnoxious but there was no doubt that he meant it. He wasn't laughing out of pity or out of sarcasm – it was easy and natural.

"I see how it is," he started when he calmed down, "you use me for coffee and then you're done with me."

I nodded, picking up my coffee and sipping from it.

"I am only using you, after all."

"And I am not opposed to it," he answered easily, smiling and resting his elbows on the table as well.

I forced myself to stay where I was even as my muscles tensed and my heart started beating fast again.

I don't know why I always had this reaction when it came to most men. I'd never been abused in my entire life but the minute a man I didn't know well got too close to me, I was tense and nervous. I didn't understand it, it made no fucking sense and I hated it.

"Good," I managed, nodding and looking down at my cup.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

I sighed heavily and shook my head, sucking my bottom lip back into my mouth as I stared at the white rim of the coffee cup.

"Edward, really…"

"Bella, I mean it." I looked up when his voice changed and met his eyes, swallowing hard. "I like hanging out with you."

He does?

"You do?"

He smiled softly and I think my heart skipped a beat.

Well, fuck. That couldn't be natural. What the hell was that shit all about? That had never happened before. And I never wanted it to happen again. Shit like that wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me; not anymore.

"Yes, I really do."

"Oh," I said quietly, looking back down at my cup and gnawing on my bottom lip again.

"So? Tomorrow?"

"Uhm, I don't…" I shrugged and sucked in a deep breath, shaking my head. "It doesn't matter, I guess. Won't you have work to get done, though?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, sighing heavily. "And I can never concentrate at my apartment."

"How come?"

I looked up at him in enough time to see him shrug his shoulders and purse his lips.

"Too many distractions, I guess. Any suggestions?"

"Well," I cleared my throat and swallowed hard, shifting in my seat and wrapping my hands around my cup, "we could stay at the office? I could, uhm, I could run across the street and get something from Jared's? We could hang out there until you're finished?"

If my heart pounded any louder or harder against my chest, it was going to be sitting in the middle of the table in a matter of seconds.

"Do you really want to spend more time at the office than you have to?"

"No." I swallowed hard again, shaking my head and lifting my cup to my lips. "But you're hell bent on hanging out with me, so…"

"Oh, you know you like it."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"User," he accused, smirking at me as he lifted his cup to his lips.

"Loser."

"Ah!" He sat up straight and placed his hand over his heart again; mimicking the position he'd been in when I said something about Tanya earlier. "That is positively insulting, Bella." Then he relaxed into his seat, tilting his head at me. "What's your last name, anyway?"

"Swan," I said quietly, swallowing the immediate flush of rage I felt building up in the back of my throat. "I'm hoping to change that soon."

"Oh." He slumped his shoulders, leaning on the table heavily and looking down at his coffee cup. "You're engaged?"

I blinked at him, my coffee cup suspended halfway to my mouth.

"'Scuse me?" I managed, slowly lowering the cup back to the table before I either crushed it or dropped it.

"You're hoping to change it soon. Meaning that you're…"

"No," I said quickly and maybe a little too harshly when his wide eyes snapped to mine. "I'm not."

And you never will be.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he said quietly when I continued to stare at him.

I didn't even really see him anymore at that point. Flashes of the dreams I'd kept locked away in a chest inside my heart were threatening, the chains rattling and the chest rocking back and forth. Demanding my attention.

"Excuse me," I said, my voice carefully detached as I slid almost bonelessly off the seat and started in the direction of the bathrooms.

I calmly walked into the single bathroom and locked the door, leaning against it and staring at the porcelain sink across from me.

His smile. The weight of his hand in mine. His lips on my forehead. His head in my lap on the couch. His voice.

Oh, God, his voice.

I placed one hand on my heart, taking deep, heaving breaths as I leaned forward and stared down at the ugly white tile of the bathroom floor.

The weight of his body on top of mine. The way his arms fit perfectly around me. The way I'd felt with him.

I missed feeling whole. I had felt so empty and so completely broken for so long that I didn't think I could even try to remember what it felt like to feel whole again.

And oh how it fucking hurt.

I stumbled over to the sink and gripped onto the edges of it tightly, breathing heavily before flicking on the cold water and staring down at it as it swirled around the drain. Prying my other hand off the side, I brought my hands underneath the water and leaned down, splashing it on my face.

I groped for the paper towels and flicked off the water, still taking deep breaths as I dried my face and stood up straight, avoiding the mirror.

It was definitely time to call it quits for the day.

I smoothed down my shirt, threw out the paper towel and turned on my heel, unlocking the door and pulling it open.

Edward stood there, my purse slung over his forearm, his coat on, our coffees in his hands and my coat draped over his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

I smiled humorlessly at him and nodded.

"I'm fine."

"I didn't mean to…"

"I know."

I grabbed my coat from his shoulder without touching him and slid my arms through it before grabbing my purse and coffee. I followed him out of the coffee shop, my head down and a lump in my throat as we wordlessly walked to his car.

The ride back to the office passed in silence. I stared out the window, watching the familiar scenery pass by in a blur with my hands firmly gripping the coffee cup. I only looked up when I felt the car stop moving to see that we were sitting next to my car in the parking lot.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said quietly, not moving as I stared out at the trees lining the parking lot.

"So am I."

"Don't be."

"I didn't mean to bring up…"

"You didn't know. It's not your fault."

"Will you tell me one day?" he asked softly.

I clenched my jaw and blinked slowly.

"I still don't trust you."

"When you do?"

"How do you know that I will?"

"Wishful thinking, I guess."

"If that day comes," I started softly, turning slightly toward him in the seat and keeping my eyes on the gear shift in between us, "then yes, I'll tell you. Until then, no."

I watched from the corner of my eye as he nodded.

"Do you trust me?"

"Not really, no."

"Still even," I said softly, sparing a glance at him and smiling shakily.

"Still even," he echoed, tapping his fingertips against the steering wheel.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bella."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll be here."

I pushed out of the car and dug my keys out of my purse, unlocking my door and sliding into the seat. Plopping my coffee cup into the holder at my feet, I waited until he drove away before I grabbed my cell phone and turned it on, sticking my keys in the ignition. I pulled my cigarettes and lighter out as I waited, quickly lighting one before throwing both the pack and the lighter into the passenger seat.

I dialed in Jake's number, taking a drag from the cigarette and tapping my toes anxiously against the floorboards.

He needed to be free and he needed to be home. I'd done my best with dealing on my own since Jean had entered his life, but there were always times like these… when the memories crawled up on me and shattered the broken pieces of my heart and I just needed him to make it better.

I just needed him to talk to me for a few minutes and I'd be okay again.

"Hello?" he answered breathlessly.

I cringed and took another drag from my cigarette, blowing the smoke out through my nose as I reached down and flicked the ashes into the ashtray.

"Hey. Are you busy?"

"Bella?"

I rolled my eyes and huffed, swallowing hard. Did he not recognize my voice anymore? He'd just talked to me yesterday, for Christ's sake.

"Yes."

"Well, I'm kinda…"

"Jesus Christ, Bella. We're fucking busy," I heard Jean snap in the background.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, grounding the toes of my feet into the grey mats beneath me.

"Jean!" Jake hissed.

"Well, we are! Fuck, Jake, what the hell did you even answer the phone for?"

"Would you shut up?" he hissed.

"Nevermind, Jake," I mumbled, taking another drag from the cigarette and flicking it into the ashtray again.

"No, Bella, it's fine. What's…?"

"Are you serious right now?" Jean screeched. "I'm fucking naked, Jake!"

That was entirely too much information. And with her shrieking like a god damn banshee in the background, it was painfully obvious that I wasn't going to get a word in edgewise.

"I'll just talk to you later," I grumbled, slowly shaking my head and taking a deep breath.

"No, Bella, it's…"

"I can't believe you right now! She's just gonna piss you off!"

My heart twitched painfully in my chest and I bit my bottom lip, my fingertips digging into the sides of my phone.

Was that really all I did when I called? Piss him off? It was obvious that I pissed her off anytime I was around either of them, but I hadn't realized that he'd shared in that.

"I need to go," I whispered, snapping the phone shut and throwing it into the passenger seat as well.

I felt numb. I was aware that I was crying again and I was aware that my cigarette was smoldering in between my fingers. I heard my cell phone start to ring, but ignored it as I stared at the trees in front of me again.

Everyone important – everyone who said that they'd stick around – always leaves. No one, aside from my mother and my brother, had ever stuck around like they said they would.

No one ever would.

I snubbed out the half-smoked cigarette and twisted the key, my car groaning to life as I pulled my seat belt across my lap and pulled out of my parking space. I made my way to my brother's house on the other side of town and stiffly climbed out of the car, jiggling my keys in my hands as I walked up the driveway to his front door.

I literally recoiled when I saw his girlfriend's car hiding behind his completely huge and unnecessary Jeep parked in the driveway, stopping in my tracks and thinking twice about going any further.

Rosalie and I had never seen eye-to-eye. She made my brother happy and I'd tried to like her, but she put no effort into it what-so-ever. She constantly looked down her nose at me and treated me as if I was the scum of the earth rather than her boyfriend's sister.

She never did it around Emmett, though, and I never had the heart to tell him that his precious Rosie could be a massive righteous bitch when she was alone with me.

And after everything that had happened today, I really didn't want to deal with any more bullshit.

Fuck, I just wanted someone to talk to.

I reached up with one hand and fisted it in my hair, staring at her license plate and taking a few deep breaths.

Maybe I'd call in sick tomorrow. Do some self-healing of my own and spend the entire fucking day on my couch, watching every single fucking depressing movie I could get my hands on and crying my eyes out over every little thing that struck a chord in me.

"Bella?"

I jumped and screamed, dropping my hand from my hair and looking up to find Emmett standing on the front step, dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a tight-fitting black t-shirt. His brown eyes stared into mine and I swallowed hard, taking a tentative step forward.

"Are you busy?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Bella," he said softly, the door slamming shut as he walked off the step and over to me, his large frame immediately swallowing my smaller one as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I don't want to interrupt anything," I managed against his chest.

"You're not and anyway, you come first. Come inside."

"Are you sure?"

"Bella…"

"I've interrupted enough today," I mumbled, looking up at him as he stood up straight, "I can't take much more, Em."

He pushed hair back from my forehead and tilted his head at me.

"So it was a really bad day, huh?"

I nodded, swallowing hard and pressing my lips together.

"Really bad day."

He slung an arm around my shoulders and led me up to the front door, keeping me tucked under his arm as he pulled open the screen door and ushered me inside. I toed off my shoes and nodded at Rosalie when I saw her sitting on the couch, her arms over her chest and her lips pressed into a tight line. I swallowed a sigh and looked up at Emmett.

"Wanna make some daiquiris?" he asked, squeezing me once before moving his arm from my shoulders. "We can hang out?"

"I actually need to get going," Rosalie said, standing up and brushing her hands off on her skin-tight, jean-clad thighs.

I slid my jacket from my shoulders, hung it up and slipped into the kitchen, nodding at her once again before disappearing and grabbing the mix and ice from the freezer. I set it on the counter and then grabbed the full bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet in the pantry.

I hope he wasn't too attached to this or keeping it for any reason because I planned on drinking the majority of it tonight.

I grabbed the blender and stared at it, waiting to hear the front door close before I broke the ice out of the tray and dumped it into the glass canister. I heard Emmett's footsteps as he walked in behind me and listened as he pulled a chair out at the table.

He waited until I was finished blending and I felt his eyes on my back as I poured the thick liquid into two already chilled mugs from the freezer, chewing on my bottom lip as I turned around and joined him at the table.

"Start talking, Bells," he said quietly, holding the glass between his hands and looking at me.

I relaxed into the chair and kicked my legs out in front of me, wiggling my toes as I traced the handle of the mug in front of me with my pointer finger and launched into the whole story of what had happened to me today.

Emmett may have been two years younger than I was, but when it came to understanding me and listening to me without judging, he was the best at it. My chest felt lighter, my heart wasn't pounding painfully in my chest and for the first time all day, I was finally relaxed.

My little brother was my rock.

I closed my eyes briefly when I finished telling him about everything and leaned back in the chair, blowing out a deep breath. I could be myself here. I didn't have to pretend to be anyone else because Emmett didn't care if I wasn't perfect. He didn't care that I had more baggage than an entire airplane usually carried. All he cared about was that I survived each day and was still able to give him a piece of his wretched train set every Christmas or birthday.

And I wouldn't change that for the world.

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